Dear Sadichha,

I am 30-year-old girl. I am in relationship with my colleague. We have been dating each other for past three years. He recently proposed me for a live-in relationship. We both are doing well in our careers and can sustain our lives on our own. We have decided to live together rather than getting married. But I am scared that people misjudge our relationship. This is bothering me to live a free life. Could you please help with your suggestions?

It’s an individual choice, if you feel like this is the right step for you then take it. It’s the two of you who needs to decide what to do and how to move forward. Never make your life decisions based on how ‘other people’ or the ‘society’ will take it. The concept of a live-in relationship is not there in Nepal and like you rightly mentioned a lot of people will take it the wrong way and are going to judge you but at the end of the day it’s about your happiness. If you let your actions be decided by how you will make others feel, you will never really be able to enjoy life to the fullest and do what your heart really desires for.  I feel like living together with someone will allow you to understand the person in ways you never thought was possible. If you feel like this is the right step for you now, take it. You can always mutually decide to get married when you feel like it’s time.  Talk to your parents about this too, I feel like after oneself, it’s your parents whose opinion should really matter. If your parents understand you and the person you are with then, I am sure they will not have an objection to this too.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a 35-year-old guy. I am living with my partner since the past eight years. But when his parents forced him to get married with a girl he could not deny. As single sex marriage is not illegal in the country, people see me as if I am a criminal. He used to support me in every step of my life. I tried to contact him but he his parents absolutely don’t want him to get back to me so they haven’t allowed him to contact me. Please tell me what should I do?

So, is your partner married to somebody else now? Or has he just agreed to marry a girl? If he has agreed to marry a girl and not stood up for himself, you cannot help him. Someone who cannot take a stand for themselves will never be able to stand up for the relationship that you share. If he is the same age that you are then, he should be able to accept who he is and not avoid contact with you just because his parents don’t want to. If nothing else, I suggest you talk to his parents, maybe if you are able to convince and make them understand, they will see things from a different perspective. If they at all don’t want to listen or try to understand their son and if he too doesn’t want to fight for his identity then, I am afraid there is not much you will be able to do.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a 25-year-old girl. I am currently working in one of the magazines of Nepal. It has been three years since I have been working here and now I feel that I should grow more and apply for other competent jobs with a pay rise. I applied to one of the other magazines and they are welcoming me to be a part of their team. When I talked about resigning here, they persuaded me to stay here and agreed to address the demands that I make. This has highly confused me on what to opt for. When I weigh the pros and cons, it gets me more confused. Please help!

What is it that made you want to look for another job in the first place? If it was only about more pay and you like everything about your current job then you can consider continuing where you are because your current office clearly wants to retain you. However, if it is more than money and you are looking for a fresh company to work in a new environment then join the new company. Do have a clear conversation with your current employer as you have written that they have agreed to address the demands that you make. But have you already made the demands? because companies might sometimes say things so that you let go of another offer that you have. Hence, look at the final offers both the companies are willing to give and that should also help you make your decision. Look at your pros and cons list carefully and see which one weighs more value for you.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a 22-year-old girl. I am pursuing my graduation in mass communication. Many guys have approached me but I have never felt the way girls are supposed to feel. Being a girl, I haven’t found any boys attractive yet. Most of my close friends doubt me as a lesbian. I think if this has affected my mindset in anyway. I am writing to know if you have any suggestion to make. What should I do?

Attraction should come naturally. Only because you are a girl doesn’t mean you have to be attracted to a guy. It also definitely doesn’t mean that you have to be attracted to every other guy that you meet. It’s perfectly normal to not feel attracted to guys. Imagine if everyone was attracted to every other person. Don’t over think. At your age, I suggest you focus on things that are productive and things that matter to you. You are young and still have time to figure things out. Sometimes there are no clear lines and distinction and you have to go with the flow.