3 years ago
An introspective day at Patan
One eventful morning, I was getting ready to go to the hospital for regular my check-up. It wasn’t until I reached the hospital, that I found out that my doctor would be arriving an hour late. I couldn’t go home because I would be late for my work if I did, so I decided to roam around Patan Durbar Square. Although I had been to the place several times before, this day managed to change my perspective entirely. I first went to Krishna Mandir and worshipped the god of love and discipline: Krishna. Then I roamed around a little more and rested at a nearby temple. While sitting at the temple steps, my thoughts managed to break the serenity that I was in. I started thinking about my problems and the things that happened in my life. I always had a hard time letting things go and moving on. My problems seemed to weigh me down, and the worst part was I would often let it.
I was diagnosed with a disease that would possibly take my life. Reality hit me so hard that this time I wasn’t able to get back up for a long time. Depression and suicidal thoughts loomed over me like black clouds on a rainy day. I tried to cut off all ties with my loved ones thinking that it would not be painful if I let them go.
Before I could get deeper into my depressive thoughts, a sight entered my peripheral vision. There was a small kid between a flock of pigeons jumping around with obvious happiness. I turned towards the spectacle and watched as a bunch of youngsters start feeding the pigeons with smiles etched to their faces. I always wondered what joy people found in feeding birds. So, feeling a little bit adventurous, I got up from my place of rest, approached the pigeons and bought a plate full of maize grains. I grabbed a fistful of grains and flung them on the ground. The pigeons soon began to assemble around me like trustworthy comrades. One was particularly brave and came up to my plate and started devouring the grains one by one until none remained. I was delighted to say the least and I chuckled at the sight. I felt at peace and was finally smiling without worries weighing me down. I smiled with content in my heart as I made my way back to the hospital.
Oftentimes, we let ourselves be convinced that we don’t deserve happiness and that happiness is only obtained from luxuries, money and youthfulness. We get blinded by our expectations, our problems, and our fears. That day I finally felt as if something made sense. The youngsters playing together and just smiling above anything made me realize how much my friends meant to me. I realized that the little things like these made the most memorable memories and gave me the best life-lessons. That day at Patan might have been normal to other people but for me that day was marked as the day I realized one of the most important things in life.
Prem is a BBA student studying in Kantipur Valley College.