When Bidhya Bhandari was elected the first president of Nepal on October 28, 2015, she put in dilemma huge section of people fighting for gender equality whether or not to celebrate the event. The development was not enough to heal their wounded dignity and sentiments after the country failed to ensure gender equality in terms of citizenship rights in the first constitution drafted by people's chosen representatives for which women had fought no less. Arguments for and against the provision may vary depending on person's viewpoint, intellect and awareness levels. However, the fact is the constitution has clearly told women that they should compromise on citizenship issue because they are women and their lineage cannot be as 'pure' as men's. Such a serious insult to women prevented many from celebrating Bhandari's rise to the head of state as symbolic victory of Nepali women. It all looked like 'a matter of chance' for her where she had turned lucky enough due to 'her favorable time.'Women occupying top positions and making wider social impact against gender biases seem to be two different things. Look at India. Late Indira Gandhi was once the most powerful person of India who still occupies important space in her country and across the world. Prativa Patil remained president of India for several years and Sonia Ghandi had quite a say over the Indian politics until the Congress lost to Bharatiya Janata Party in the last general elections.
Nepal and India share social practices and culture. Both predominantly Hindu nations, they have the same social structure and the role of women and men are more or less the same. While education and awareness level differs in different states of India resulting in different degree of freedom for women, the status of women in the Far-west districts and other areas adjoining Indian borders is the worst apparently due to poverty and lack of awareness.
In view of reports on violence against women at home and public places, it would not be unfair to say that 'powerful' women icons in India didn't do much to hit men's psyche regarding general women and girls. The way they are viewed and treated in India, at home and streets, has not changed for ages. Back home in Nepal, decency and sacrifices of women are glorified while men's 'weaknesses' are taken as normal. So, though women in power may be appreciated, people care the least about changing their mindset when it comes to normal girls and women.
The different expectations from women and men regarding their behavior and performances apparently give upper hand to men. But that doesn't make men happy either. Making a section of society weak does not enhance strength of other section. It makes both the groups weaker in different ways. When a platform is created in small units like home to beget oppressors and oppressed, society cannot move forward towards prosperity.
Our society desperately needs to counter domestic violence—the biggest malaise of our society. Social members themselves must take a lead for this. The key is to teach people to respect each other. This should start at the young age. One has to treat the other as equal in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts. Since they are starkly different types, social roles and behaviors of men and women might indeed be different, but this difference should be admired instead of used to figure out who is superior. And this practice of equality and harmony has to be well upheld and promoted by Nepali society and the constitution. This will be a step ahead toward celebrating life and doing away with humiliation and violence.
The first step is to challenge women's dependency on men. Only when both men and women are in position to take decisions of life independently, domestic violence dips down. According to the reports of National Women Commission (NWC), domestic violence against women is mainly because of economic and social dependency on husband. In many cases, women are living with abusive husbands just because they have nowhere to go. This 'nowhere' is created not only by financial but also social pressures. Single women are always the soft target of family, relatives and society. This must change.
NWC also states that huge number of men would be ready to divorce their wives if they are allowed to without restrictions (Nepal's divorce laws favor women). If that's the case, as many numbers of men are either torturing wives for not leaving them free or/ and living in torture for being forced to live with someone they don't love. This is against the principles of human happiness and satisfaction for both husbands and wives. The state should look for the solution of such complexities as well and review laws and practices to ensure healthy outlets when things are not working well.
Mental health of a person should not be at stake under any pretext.Legal provisions and social circle should take care of this. Instead of loving to further harass rape victims, girls and women in the entertainment sector, victims (children, men and women) of domestic violence and trafficking, divorced men and women, gender minorities, children of single parents and so on, society should be willing to accommodate them with respect. That's the way to avoid conflicts in the micro level and secure their human rights.
@JournoAnjali
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