Please help me. Actually the case is, I met a girl on a social networking site and I saw her pictures, which led me to think that she was ideal for me. Then I asked her out but she refused and even blocked me from her account. However, now after about three months she unblocked me and has become very close to me. This is very confusing. Please tell me what I should do.
- Hurried guy
I belong to the generation of “love at first sight.” I would argue with friends about how all it takes is that one look, one meeting and one conversation. They thought I was outrageous. If they knew that after 10 years we would enter the era of “love without first (real) sight”, it would have killed them. Anyway, across every generation, relationship between man and woman has always been complex – the complexity in the coming together of Mars and Venus. In this generation of virtual meetings, another layer of complexity is added by the fact that you can’t really see the person in person, and you’re relying on words that could mean anything and the blocking and unblocking signals, which too could mean anything. Across every generation, the sutra to a good and healthy relationship is “real time” communication. If you are hoping that this thing you have is going to go anywhere, you’ll have to come out from the shadows and have some real time together.
Dear Swastika,
My brother is in his teens and I am in my twenties. I’m having trouble communicating with him these days. We hardly ever talk now. Actually, though we don’t fight with each other, he never speaks to me properly and is always angry. I want to improve our relationship but don’t know where to start or what to do without infuriating him . Is there any way I can have a good brother-sister relationship with him?
- Saru
I think you’re such an amazing sister for not taking your brother-sister relationship for granted and recognizing the need to reach out to your brother. Teenage is always rough on people but I am really glad you’re stepping up to find a way to bridge the growing distance. Relationship between siblings has the potential to be a blessing – strong and meaningful. However, you and your brother are at a defining state, where you have the possibility of becoming closer, but also the possibility of drifting further and further apart. The solution here is to keep leading the conversation even though he may be reluctant and abrupt. It might take some hard work to learn about things that he likes to talk about. Learn about cricket and the name of cricket players if he’s into that or songs and singers if that’s where his interest lies. Find a link that will take you close to him. I am so amazed by your maturity and your desire to do something to strengthen a relationship. That already is the first step towards it. Now all you have to do is be persistent in your efforts and have patience.
Swastika Shrestha is the founder of Anuvuti – a social enterprise that engages young people in service-learning. She has been coaching and mentoring young people in different capacities for over a decade.
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