Siblings are the friends that gods have chosen for you. When they are around, the world makes more sense, life is more fun, and there is always someone watching your back. But sometimes constant proximity hinders communication, and problems and issues between siblings remain untold.
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Oh mother, tell me a story
The Week brings you some of these issues that brothers and sisters have with each other, in the hope that each may see the viewpoint of the other.
My older brother is very protective of me, and prevents me from going out. I understand that he wants me to be safe, but how will I learn to deal with whatever 'evil' is out there if I don't recognize it in the first place? I need my space, and I need to grow outside of family relationships too. If you're so concerned, why don't you pick me up from wherever I'm instead of telling me not to go?
- Younger sister
My brother always bullied me as a child. Just because he was older, he made me do his chores, sometimes ate my lunch, and sometimes hit me. The memories are still hard to live with, and the worst thing is that now that we're grown up, he pretends these things never happened. He pretends like he was always the nice guy that he's become now.
- Younger brother
To older sister
My sister thinks she's always right. This made sense when I was four and she was eight, and she seemed like the most knowledgeable person in the world. But now I have almost caught up with her on age. She shouldn't be dismissing all my arguments as if I'm still four. If she doesn't acknowledge my identity, who else is going to believe me?
- Younger sister
Why should I always get my sister's hand-me-downs? When I was very young I even used to get her shorts. Now, thankfully, my mother cannot pass on her dresses and skinny jeans to me. But I still get her old books and other things. Once in a while, I would like to read a book where I don't have to decipher what the original print says because they are covered with her untidy doodles.
- Younger brother
To younger brother
If I'm expected to spend money on you, I should know where it's going. I give you pocket money because I want to support you. But when thousands of Rupees suddenly disappear from my bank account, and all of a sudden I see hundreds of pictures of you and your friends boozing on facebook, I think you owe me an explanation. If you want to spend like a king, wait until you start earning.
- Older sister
My brother wants to compete with me in any manner possible, and not in good ways. If he can't get good grades like me, he'll get attention anyhow, even if by failing. He argues the opposite of whatever I say, and goes to great lengths just to prove his point. Stop living your life around me and make your own niche, is what I say.
- Older brother
To younger sister
I'm just one year older than my sister. Why should I be expected to always take care of her, when it's clear that I had no clue how? How can a 5-year-old take care of a 4-year-old? But the strange thing is, the equation is still the same even when I'm 25 and she's 24. She's still seen as the kid, and I'm still expected to pick her up and drive her home when she's stranded. Nobody did that for me when I was 16, and I'm still doing it for her in her 20s.
- Older sister
Why is there always pressure on the older sibling to set examples, to fulfill your parent's expectations? It's like I can't party, I can't get bad grades, and I can't be "haude" because what example is that going to set for those younger than me? Come on, I need to let my hair down sometimes too.
- Older brother
Complaints all siblings make
• It's hard to share a room with a sibling, especially if one is a neatness freak and the other is messy. While one thinks cleanliness is next to godliness, the other thinks that a room shouldn't look like a museum. Such tussles lead to big fights about who cleans which section, and remains unresolved for days.
• When parents play favorites, it creates tension that may simmer for years. While the slighted one obviously feels neglected and unloved, the favorite one feels guilty for taking the other person's share of love. The dynamics are reflected everyday in conversations that children have with parents, and eventually create an
unhealthy quagmire for the entire family.
• Intimate topics are awkward between siblings. Most siblings can share such topics with friends and even cousins, but mention romance or sex in a room with two siblings present, and watch both turn red and look away.
• Siblings borrowing things from each other without asking for the other's permission creates many problems. We tend to take a family member's personal possessions for granted, but often, possessions are an extension of one's personality. Borrowing something without caring if the owner may need it, or returning it damaged, or not returning it at all, is not cool.
