Though what was meant and what was chosen to be believed were two very different stories, the appeal that “white skin” shares among and across generations seems interesting.[break]
Be it someone as aged and mature as my grandmother or someone much younger and unworldly as my cousins, the preference for beautiful seems to encompass a lighter skin tone.
And why just my cousins? I remember a friend of mine explaining to me with certainty how a girl with a fairer complexion had a far better chance of qualifying as pretty than a brown/black or even yellow one. It was a rather awkward conversation, oh yes!
Firstly, all the labeling of the colors was already confusing enough to begin with. To add to that, to have to classify people under each of these skin tones and use them as an example was downright crazy and a tad bit derogatory too, I think.
But going back to what my friend was telling me, I recall profusely disagreeing with him and pointing out how “tan was in.” I even reminded him of this girl that we knew in common.
I thought this girl was beautiful, bronze, and breathtaking. He agreed, sure. But added, “Tyo kali bhayepani kya ramri thi, hai?,” defeating my entire purpose of pointing out how pretty she was despite her golden brown skin. He shut her down as an exception even before I could build on my argument.
Something to think about, wouldn’t you say? This guy tells me that he specifically prefers all his girlfriends to have a lighter skin tone, and interestingly he is on the “brown-ish” side, if I may say so. “Go use Fair and Handsome!” I tell him, tired of all his rationalization and futile convincing. He simply reminds me, “Men are liked tall, dark and handsome.”
So what’s this pressure with girls in the eastern society expected to look like snow white? This all-consuming need to be on the fairer side isn’t something that solely Nepali or most of our South Asian counterparts are infected by.
Even here in Thailand, the whole “white affair” seems to be quite the thing. In fact, every single product that I consciously or unconsciously touch happens to be whitening: whitening night cream, whitening day cream, whitening sunscreen, post-sun whitening cream, whitening deodorants, whitening lotions. The list is endless.
Not surprisingly, most of my girlfriends are scared by the sun. And believe me, “scared” is the apt word to describe it. “I don’t want to get sun-burnt,” they say although I seriously doubt the sun will actually find a way to penetrate into their skin with their stepping out with layers of sunscreen and makeup.
Such episodes take me back to numerous advertisements that come out in the Indian channels. Be it Garnier, Lakme, Fair and Love/Handsome or god knows what other products, they all underscore the wonders of a lighter skin tone.
All this is, of course, a consumerist ploy. I say so because in case you haven’t really paid attention to those ads on TV, I’ll tell you, they do a pretty convincing job of making you feel worthless.
They were very successful in manipulating me to buy a “Fair and Lovely Teen” in my teenage years. And comparing Fair and Lovely to Fairever or Vicco Turmeric cream, Fair and Lovely looked like a sane option to me.
This is not to say that I’m making fun of the people wearing Fair and Lovely and other such products. But I’m asking you to consider its worth over yours; after all, I’m sure a teeny tiny bit of your self-esteem is getting crushed as you hang on to that false hope of having a whiter skin.
I say with confidence and false hope because I know a friend who used Fair and Lovely for nine years straight out and unfortunately or fortunately, she is still as brown as ever.
On the other side of things, we have millions of foreigners who are desperate to get tanned and prefer to spend the entire day doing nothing but basking in the sun. So much is the rage that if the sun doesn’t work for them, then they actually get spray tans.
I personally know many Nepali friends who are fond of this, thereby establishing that this is something that not only the “foreigners” engage in necessarily. It’s as popular with a certain group of Nepali crowd as it is with other foreign groups.
Looking at it from a Western spectacle, a darker complexion is definitely seen as desirable. Not long ago, when I pointed out to my Russian friend how evenly tanned her skin was, she was ecstatic.
If I had even mentioned this to any of my friends in Nepal, I know for sure they would flip and start shielding from the harsh rays of the sun.
The irony of life crops up in most unsuspecting ways, doesn’t it? Those with a darker skin tone prefer a lighter one and vice versa, I guess.
Of course, wanting a particular skin tone isn’t bad. But undermining yourself for not having what you assume is a popular preference definitely is.
Trust me, it’s better to leave the house with just a layer of sunscreen than having to apply those countless products day in and day out.
Ayushma Basnyat is a student of Political Science at Thammasat University who enjoys exploring life and all that it has to offer.
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