We have all heard how the idea of getting married can be an emotional one for the bride. There is usually a lot said and written about a woman’s journey into what is perhaps the start of a whole new life. But amidst the talk about how difficult it can be for a daughter to step from the arms of her parents and into a new family, haven’t we forgotten about a crucial part of the wedding? The groom?
So what do men have to say about their experience of getting married? Priyanka Gurung shifts the spotlight back on the men and lets them have their say.
Aryan Sigdel
Actor
Getting married for me was a conscious decision. I lived alone in my apartment here in Kathmandu for almost a
decade. I had lived the bachelor life and I felt that it was time to settle down for good. Perhaps that's the reason I wasn't a bit nervous on my wedding day. I was mentally prepared, in fact I was actually looking forward to it.
The day of the actual ceremony was definitely all about the bride. You would think since it is a once in a life time scenario the couple would get equal amount of attention but in my case as well, my wife was the center of the entire function. I don't have any complains about it though.
As it is, looking back at the wedding it was such a blur of activities. All I remember is smiling and doing Namaste a lot. That's how the whole day passed by. Guests are coming to meet you, and you are being asked to do half a dozen things at once. I doubt anybody has the time to think, or for that matter sulk, about not being paid attention to.
This 19th April will be our very first anniversary. In hindsight, it was certainly a good day. Beforehand I think all men do wonder how life will pan out as a married man. Personally having lived alone for so long, I had become accustomed to enjoying my own space. So I was wary about the adjustments I would have to make with my lifestyle. Then there are responsibilities a man has to shoulder. I believe the moment you get married a man does become very aware of them. However, almost a year on I have no regrets. Settling down was a good call. I'm a happy man right now.
Basanta Regmi
Cricketer
Groom arrested for calling off marriage over not receiving gold...
My family and I had to start a very long journey to get to my wedding. From Kathmandu we were traveling all the way to Nepalgunj. I remember calling my wife up to tell her we were on the road, after that, I saw her straight at the mandap itself. I was very calm throughout the morning, but the moment when we reached the bride’s house with our janti and band, that’s when I started feeling the butterflies in my stomach. For some reason, I was anxious about what her family’s reaction would be. This is funny because ours was initially an arranged engagement that turned into a love marriage. But then again, the moment I saw her come down to the mandap, all the nerves vanished. I felt at ease.
During the ceremony itself, I wasn’t over thinking anything. I was just hoping that the Gods would bless us both and that we would have a happy family life. I never quite had big plans for my wedding day. My dream was to always be a cricketer, but as they say fate has a way of bringing your soul mate into your life. I believed that is what happened with us and I was very pleased to be getting married to my wife.
Personally I didn’t have much time during the D-day to consider my duties and responsibilities as a husband. I was too busy greeting guests and celebrating. Though I believe every man does feel his duties at one point. It dawned on me after the ceremonies were over. It’s actually nice to have somebody else to care about. You are not the sole priority anymore, you have a partner, and in many ways, that is a pleasant change.
Dharmendra Sewan
Singer
Marriage is a big step for every individual. It's a huge transition that we are choosing to make. So while I was well prepared for it, the wedding day turned out to be a mixed bag of emotions. From the time I woke up to the moment we officially got married, it was an emotional rollercoaster ride. I believe it's unfair to stereotype and say that is only the brides who are emotional on their wedding day.
Personally I was excited about starting a new chapter in my life. It was a celebration with my family and friends. I was incredibly happy. Though at the same time, you want the ceremony to go according to plan and there was this surge of nervous energy. With so many people present to witness you getting married, there is also that little bit of stage fright.
Nevertheless after the ceremony was officially over, I felt really confident about our relationship. I believe we were both prepared to share our responsibilities and have equal participation from there on. We had even shopped for and planned our wedding together, so throughout the whole day, I remember feeling content that it turned out to be a good memorable one. Luckily, three years on and the sentiments remain the same every single day.
Ajit Baral
Writer
There isn't a worse moment than your wedding day to feel like you are not looking your best. I know because it happened to me.
I wasn't feeling nervous on my wedding day, that is, until I got dressed up. I had to put on a daura-suruwal and dhaka topi for the very first and as expected it felt weird and uncomfortable. And then I checked the mirror, I thought I was looking awful. Thus cue in the anxiety. It slowly crept on me and did not go away.
I was apprehensive till the formal ceremony started. After that, I was too busy performing the rituals to care about my looks or the hundreds of prying eyes. So I doubt it's only the brides who experience the jitters. Though there is more pressure on them to look perfect. People tend to notice and comment more on their attire, jewelries, and make up. On that front, the expectations for grooms are relatively less.
Besides the little bout of self consciousness, there was nothing else that made me nervous on my wedding day. I cannot talk on behalf of other men, but personally for me, I was not concerned about the consequences of my decision. I had dated my wife for nearly two years and knew her well enough to be confident that we will remain happily married. So I wasn't worried at all. I was looking forward to our life together.
During the ceremony, I actually remember thinking, "Now this ordeal is going to be over soon." And it ended quickly to my relief. We had to reach Pokhara (from Kathmandu) on the same day and we had requested the pandit ji to rush through the rituals. So our wedding turned out to be short and sweet, not to mention very memorable.
Prakash Khatri
Banker
While participating in your wedding, turns out there are a lot of things that you need to make sense of. Our traditional matrimonial rituals are incredibly complex and not to mention long. During my wedding, while I sat there at the mandap with my soon to be wife, there were times when I was wondering about the significance of all the steps of the puja we were doing.
Especially when we came to the kanyadaan, I felt the responsibility that I would have to take over. In a way, I remember feeling empowered too. Unfortunately the ceremony went on for a bit too long. Since we had gone way past an hour, by the end of it I was eagerly waiting to finish it and join in on the celebration with our family and friends.
Since mine was a love marriage, I wasn't nervous at all. It's the bride who has to go through the drastic changes so it's only natural that they are comparatively more anxious. They are the ones who have to leave their homes and begin a new life with a new family, so I also believe that the attention poured on them on their wedding day is justified. They should be adored and taken care of as they deserve it more than the groom.
