I often wake up to my neighbor's shrill voice."Srijana!"
Srijana is her 11 years old daughter and by the time I get out of bed, the girl is almost always assigned a list of chores.
"Help your brother with your homework."
"Get your brother ready for school."
"Bring the bread."
"Where is your uniform? Iron them."
Srijana isn't exactly a docile character though. I hear her match her mother's volume and fire back a few complaints every now and then. Nevertheless, she dutifully gets the work done because even at that age she understands that being the daughter of the family, she has to share the responsibilities. In fact, her mother has made it a point to pass down this school of thought. When I tried to point out the obvious unfair distribution of the household load between her children, she actually laughed, "Srijana is a girl. What do you expect? The sooner she learns to take care of a family the better."
I have immense pride in a woman's ability to rear a family. I adore the feminine instinct to nurture and care. Having been at the end of a mother's soothing touch, we are well aware of her ability to help heal. Having witnessed her turn a house into a loving home, we are fully conscious of her proficiency to help unite.
But who knew these qualities would actually serve as the perfect excuse to justify biased treatment of girls? What's more, this is just one of the several backhanded compliments given to women.
She has been considered too beautiful to be smart. Thus, even today, many women have to fight to be taken seriously at work. She has been labeled too good of a catch to be single. So she is urged and sometimes even persuaded to tie up her life and dreams with a man. She has been complimented and chastised for being more emotionally attuned in the same breath. Many of her bold opinions are told to be influenced by her sentiments, or worse, PMS.
She has been deemed as too irresistible to walk out after dark. The world has literally lost count of the number of times a woman was blamed for her own abuse. And again, we are only scratching the surface with these examples.
In these 104 years that we have had International Women's Day, we have certainly accomplished many things that deserve to be celebrated. There have been many milestones that mark the economic, political and social achievements of women.
However, even the biggest of optimists has to admit that women haven't yet been able to shake off the prejudices or balance out the inequitable scales that are associated with being born as a female. The number of challenges automatically doubles itself the moment a women walks out in the world.
"There are still instances when you are the only one representing your gender in a room. Those moments are always tricky," explains Mahima Khanal * 37, a hotel manager. "There have been times when my ideas have fallen on deaf ears but when a man comes up with the same thought, it is raved as a good plan and quickly put into implementation."
Mahima has accepted these practices and talks about rolling with the punches. She aims to get the top post one day and the progress that women's movement has had so far means it is possible. However, her path to success is inevitably steeper than that of her male colleagues.
If we were to cite similar examples, there will be many. In many ways, it begins and ends with society. The problem largely seems to be people's perceptions. The society always seems keen to dictate what it means to be a female. It has also always determined what they should and should not do.
God forbid, we actually let the women be the judge of that.
It was the reason I once found myself wondering, 'If I had a choice, would I prefer to have a son?' It was a fleeting thought which I am sure will prove to be controversial. However, I say so not looking down upon women; it is based on the simple truth that life for any childs is comparatively less complicated and far easier if he is born as a male. For all amazing things a woman represents, even today, it still isn't the most convenient gender group. If we were to drop the diplomacy and consider the logistics, this is easy to concur.
But since we can't immediately do something about it, we women find ourselves soldiering on. We are putting our trust on the notion that the world and its people will slowly come around to see sense.
It's certainly never been easy. As women, we have had to fight every single step of the way. We have had to prove our worth for something as basic as education to something as essential as the right to property.
At the end of it all, however, in all its complicated glory, every lady inevitably feels pride in being a woman. From the click of her heels to the bend of her hair, from the palm of her hand to the need of her to care, like Maya Angelou puts it in the verses of her poem 'Phenomenal Women'.
There is a different kind of privilege in assuming the role of a daughter, sister, wife and mother. Then there is also a unique thrill in going out and working to reaffirm the belief that we, women can be a whole lot more than just that.
International Women's Day is a great opportunity not only to celebrate the achievements but also to highlight the continuing challenges faced by women and girls across the world. For, as far as we have come, there is still a lot more ground to be covered.
priyankagurungg@gmail.com
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