But Reshma (name changed), a resident of Kalanki in Kathmandu, never sensed the wrong intention of the teacher until one day he went beyond his usual behavior.[break]
“That day I felt like crying. I could not clearly understand what he was up to and why I felt so bad. His hands were about to reach my thighs and I suddenly left,” recounted Reshma.
“Actually the problem is, it takes time for us girls to even understand that we are being sexually abused. Had I been more aware at the time I would have given the teacher a slap for the way he behaved with me,” she added.
In the case of Reshma, who is now a secondary level student, the science teacher never talked to her nicely after that day. Not that Reshma, an 8th grader at the time, had complained to her parents or to the principal, but she no longer felt positive towards the teacher. “May be he was afraid I would open up about the matter any time and he would be compromised. After a few months he left the school,” Reshma said.
Sexual harassment and abuse in schools and colleges is common and its effect on girls can be severe in some cases, notes youth counselor Neeru Baral. Her point is borne out by the long queue of visitors at her ´Samyak Jeevan Dhara´ counseling center at Kumaripati, Lalitpur.
“Very few people are aware that sexual abuse can lead to psychological disturbance requiring treatment. But still, around eight to 10 cases of sexual abuse of girls between 10 to 18 is registered at our center. You can easily surmise the magnitude of the problem,” remarked Baral.
A study done by ´Youth Action Nepal´ two years ago brings out the fact that a large number of female school-goers are actually unclear what constitutes sexual abuse. Many a time they choose to keep quiet about such behavior as "they did not like" the tag of ´over-reactor´.
Some research was done among 120 girls of six higher secondary schools (plus two colleges) in Kathmandu, Lalitpur and Bhaktapur, with the support of an international women´s organization, ISIS - WICCE (Women´s International Cross Cultural Exchange).
Among the 120 girls, 60 percent said they have experienced one or other form of sexual abuse at school or at home. Twenty-five respondents said they were not clear what constitues sexual abuse and what does not. On the other hand, 22 percent of the girls reported that they were victimized not just once but between two to 12 times.
The girls also disclosed who abused them. According to them, family members, acquaintances, relatives, house-owners, co-workers, friends and of course teachers are key abusers. Seventy percent of the girls stated that people close to them rather than strangers are the primary perpetrators.
According to Pratistha Koirala, a student at Kathmandu University, there is hardly any girl who is not sexually abused. “But they do not tend to speak up until and unless matters turn serious".
One of the biggest reasons girls suffer in silence and get repeatedly abused is they lack support from their own families regarding such matters. “We discuss it among friends and come to know that each of us has a similar story to share. Girls are very vulnerable at school, college and in public places. But it is very difficult to raise one´s voice as the perpetrator acts so innocent and it looks like the girl is simply over-reacting,” said Koirala.
Koirala has an anecdote to share. One of her friends who was preparing for her SLC exams had a maths teacher who insisted that she take private tuition. After she joined the tuition class, he began subjecting her to frequent SMS. The messages had sexual connotation and the girl felt uncomfortable. She shared this among friends after a month or so and subsequently she also reported the matter to her family.
“But her parents told her to simply ignore it and stop going to tuition class. They did not try to understand that their daughter was disturbed and the teacher needed to be held responsible,” Koirala said.
According to her, the teacher, who is at a prestigious school in Kathmandu, is still teaching there. She added that there was a similar case when she was studying A Level at Chelsea International School. However, following a complaint, the sociology teacher involved was fired.
Counselor Baral stresses that humiliation is the unavoidable impact on girls who become victims of sexual abuse. “This is followed by fear, depression, insecurity, aggressive behavior and so on. More often than not, girls who face severe sexual abuse at a young age tend to suffer in the long run from lack of confidence and a pessimistic attitude towards life ,” she points out.
Neha Shamra, who runs a program on sexual violence against girls on Metro FM, stated that even teachers of the same school have different opinions about the vulnerability of girls in that school. “Male teachers deny that any such thing happens in their school while the female teachers have a different story. This means, girls are not comfortable complaining about the ´wrong´ behavior of a male teacher to another male teacher,” Sharma said.
“Many lady teachers have told us that their girl students have complained of sexual abuse by male teachers. But it is not easy to open up about the matter as there is always a lack of evidence. But they agree that such abuse is rampant among young girls,” Sharma maintains.
Society´s attitudes unhelpful
Human right activist and advocate Meera Dhungana opines that curbing sexual abuse against girls cannot be done without a systematic approach.
“Rampant sexual and other forms of abuse against women and girls is largely due to male domination, or the patriarchal structure of society, where women are supposed to act submissive. Regarding girls´ issues, it is very important to make guardians, teachers and young girls aware of sexual violence. But what is most important is to make them aware of the legal provisions and procedures for seeking justice in such cases,” she remarked.
Meanwhile, a statement recently issued by UN Nepal notes that despite strong commitment by the government to securing girls´ and women´s rights, too many of them are still waiting for the respectful and equal treatment that they deserve.
Greater empowerment of women will mean that their children will also gain greater rights and protections, ensuring a better future for Nepal as well. It is time for concrete national action with effective implementation and reinforcement of commitments, norms and laws. Ending violence against women and girls deserves high political prioritization and sufficient public spending, it stated.
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