A few days ago, I saw a girl in my friend’s neighborhood and it was love at first sight. She even smiles back at me every time we see each other. For instance, yesterday, when I was with my friends, she was smiling at me. I think she too has a crush on me. I’m confused as to what I should do? Please help me.
- Anil Shahi
(Smiles) That feeling of butterflies in the heart…that feeling of slowly rising in love…the anticipation…the guessing…and the endless possibilities of where this love could go. Isn’t that the most beautiful land to be in? You ask me what you should do. There’s nothing to do – the world will continue to go round without you having to do anything. The love will grow, evolve over time, take different shapes and forms, and reach the destiny that it’s supposed to reach. Meanwhile, you should listen to lots of romantic songs, start writing poems, start painting, even though you may not know how to draw a straight line, and pick up a guitar and sing along without any care. And, oh yes, you should smile a lot – like really-really a lot so that your friends can guess that something is up with you. And then, when they find out and start teasing you, you should blush so that the whole world finds out that you darling are sooooo… into love.
Dear Swastika,
My boyfriend went abroad one year ago and we had regular conversations until some three months before. Two weeks ago, I uploaded some of my photos wearing a skirt and since then he broke up with me because he didn’t like my pictures. He hasn’t spoken to me since. He always forgave me for similar mistakes previously but now I don’t think it’s the photos that led to the breakup. What should I do? I’m really depressed. Please help!
- Savvi
That must have been a hell of a skirt!!! On a more serious note, long-distance relationships are hard to maintain. Relationships need more than skype and facebook to survive and thrive. Long-distance love is a wholly different realm – emotions get really jumbled up and it’s unclear for people on both sides of the globe. Sometimes when we show anger, it’s a way to say, “I need you to be here.” And when we keep expressing our love constantly and continuously, I’m worried that our love might be losing its strength. So at this time, clarifying the emotions behind what has happened is really important. “Demand” a conversation and not his “forgiveness.” He owes you an honest explanation. Several years down the road, it’s not the breakup that’ll bother you, but it’ll be this feeling of not knowing why the breakup happened that would haunt you forever. Demand!!! And if he still refuses to talk, then trust me, you can conclude that he’s a jerk and move on with your life.
Dear Swastika,
I and my best friend fell out earlier this year and he’s making my life horrible now. He’s been speaking about me behind my back to everyone and calling me names. And I can’t even ignore him because we’re in the same class. I’ve had fights with him but he won’t stop and I’m really mad right now. What should I do?
- Binisha
What do you do when there’s a big thunderstorm and the entire world seems near its end? You take shelter somewhere you know is a safe place. You surround yourself with people who love and support you. You pray for the strength to fight your fears. If the wind is blowing away the roof over your head, then you hold the roof with all your mighty strength. And then you wait for all of this to be over soon. Shift your focus from those who hate you to those who love, support and understand you. At any point, if this situation gets to a point where it poses a threat to your safety and wellbeing, reach out to family and friends who can protect you. Find in yourself the strength to rise above the lies. Stand strong. Tell the truths to those who care and listen, and don’t bother about those who aren’t on your side. This thunderstorm too shall pass. Just hold on to yourself with all your mighty strength.
Dear Swastika,
My mom and dad fight all the time and my siblings are too young to understand what’s happening at home. I have my exams coming up and my mom’s crying so often now. I feel like leaving home. Some advice would be really helpful right now.
- Shekhar
Pray and ask to be granted “the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” At this time, you have to ask yourself, “What can I change?” If there’s anything, then have the courage to fix it. If you know that there are things you can’t change, then simply accept them. Sometimes our parents have their own karma and we have to leave them to deal with it. As for us, we have to build our own karma. Leaving home is an option that’s only good if you can stop worrying about your family and stay away from the guilt of leaving. So if you can stop worrying by accepting that there are some things that you can change, some and that you can’t, and that you have to do what you have to so that you get through this exam and move on in life, then it won’t matter where you stay or leave – you’ll find peace.
Swastika Shrestha is the founder of Anuvuti – a social enterprise that engages young people in service-learning. She’s has been coaching and mentoring young people in different capacities for over a decade
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