On the day of Baisakh Purnima 2555 years ago, two exceptional individuals were born in Nepal, Gautama Buddha and his wife Yasodhara. While Prince Gautama Buddha was born in the forest of Lumbini, his wife took birth in the Devdaha palace of Koili Dynasty. History is sometimes very unfair, especially to women, and many of them don’t receive the respect and recognition they deserve.[break]
Sita’s three sisters were married to the three brothers of the great Hindu God, Ram. When Ram was asked to leave his kingdom on a 14-year exile, his younger brother Laxman decided to follow him. Sita and Urmila, wives of Ram and Laxman, also wanted to leave with their husbands. Ram and Laxman tried to convince them to stay back, but Sita stubbornly followed her decision, while Laxman convinced Urmila by saying, ‘If you go with me, I won’t be able to take care of my brother and his wife’.
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Urmila stayed back and suffered the14 years of isolation, while all her three sisters stayed with their husbands. She never complained about this and lived with her husband’s family and fulfilled her responsibility as an ideal Hindu daughter-in-law. Tragically, none of the great writers of the Ramayana; Balmiki, Tulsi Das or Bhanubhakta could gather the compassion to write about Urmila.
History has been even harsher on Yasodhara.
Yasodhara was the princess of Koili and was brought up in royal luxury just like her prince husband, Siddhartha Gautama. She was a beautiful, compassionate woman, a gifted sitar player, and had received many proposals of marriage from many handsome princes.
It was well known that Prince Siddhartha used to disappear from the palace time to time and meditate under trees for hours. Most of them believed that he would leave his kingdom and become a renunciate. Yasodhara had heard these stories, and yet, she defied her relatives to choose Siddhartha as her husband.
After Buddha left the palace, Yasodhara stayed with his family, brought up their son Rahul, and fulfilled her responsibilities towards Buddha’s parents. Famous Vietnamese Buddhist scholar Thik Nyath Hanh and Osho have said in their books that Yasodhara continuously reminded Buddha not to deviate from his spiritual path and prevented him from falling into worldly allurements.
The night Buddha was leaving for his spiritual quest, Yashodhara made his horse Kanthak ready, and retained Buddha’s favorite chariot driver Chundak in the palace. Buddhist literature states that before leaving the palace, Buddha came to Yasodhara’s room to see the face of his newborn. The gods covered the baby’s face with Yasodhara’s clothes so that he wouldn’t stay back. Thik Nyat Hanh and Osho differ from this opinion. They have said that when Buddha came in to the room to have a last look at the newly born baby, Yasodhara herself covered her face and the baby’s, so that Buddha wouldn’t feel attached to his wife and the baby and subsequently stay back.
All that Buddha suffered during his spiritual penance in the forest, Yasodhara silently suffered in the palace. When she came to know that Buddha ate only once a day, slept on the floor, and wrapped himself in a normal robe, Yasodhara practiced the same in the palace.
When Buddha came back to Kapilvastu after attaining enlightenment, everybody went to pay their respects to him and get his darshan, except Yasodhara. Buddha himself, along with his disciple Sariputra, went to meet Yasodhara. After touching Buddha’s feet, Yasodhara asked him a very profound question, ‘Isn’t the truth that you attained under the Bodhi tree on the bank of Niranjana River present here? Couldn’t you attain that understanding here?’ This left Buddha speechless. The question reveals the depth of her understanding and intelligence.
Yasodhara didn’t stop her son Rahul when he wanted to become Buddha’s disciple, instead she asked Buddha to initiate her as well. But as Buddha was not yet ready to accept women into his Sangha, she couldn’t become his disciple. Later on, after the death of King Suddhodhan, Buddha’s stepmother, Prajapati Gautami shaved her head, dressed herself as a nun, and travelled to Vaishali and asked Buddha to initiate her. Buddha hesitatingly initiated Gautami after listening to the strong advocacy of his disciple, Anand, who was not ready to reject women from the Sangha. This incident opened the doors for Yasodhara to become Buddha’s disciple.
Buddhist literature mentions many names of Buddha’s female disciples such as Visakha, Amrapali, Prajapati Gautami, Kahjutara, Krisha Gautami, and many others. But it seems that after Yasodhara’s initiation into the Sangha, Buddhist literature completely forgot her name.
In the Sangha, Yasodhara never demanded acknowledgement as Buddha’s wife. Rather, she lived a very simple life. In the ashram, she washed dishes, swept the floor, and nursed the sick ones. Her son Rahul had already attained Arhatwa and was one of the main Acharyas among Buddha’s ten Gandharvas. Yasodhara, the wife of an enlightened master and the mother of an enlightened Acharya, never asked for any important position, and chose to live anonymously. It is greatly admirable that she completely dissolved herself into the Buddha Sangha.
At the age of 78, on the same full moon day of Baisakh Purnima, Yasodhara’s last conversation with her beloved in the Benuban of Rajgrihi is touchingly poignant.
She requested Buddha, ‘Now I am old, and my body is tired. I have respectfully fulfilled my duties as the Koili princess, Shakya crown-princess and a disciple of the Buddha Sangha. I have remembered my past lives in which I have served you with immense love and trust in one form or the other. In this life you accepted me as your wife and gave me a son and later guided me as my master till I attained enlightenment. Now I have no desires left. With your permission I want to leave this body. Please forgive me if I have done anything wrong to you or to the Buddha Sangha.’ After saying this, she encircled the Buddha three times, went to her hut, and burnt a lamp for him with love. She bowed down to him from within her heart, and peacefully left her body.
My heart weeps, because history never gave Yasodhara her due respect. Nepal forgot Yasodhara’s name completely in choosing its national heroes. There is always a respectful place for Sita in the temple of Ram, Radha in the temple of Krishna, but when it comes to the temple or stupa of Buddha, there is not even a mention of Yasodhara. Such historic injustices and disregards must now come to an end.
Nepal has to include Yasodhara along with Sita and Pasang Lhamu in its list of national heroes. The capital of the Koili dynasty, Buddha’s maternal grandparents’ home and his in-laws’ home Devdaha, should gradually be developed into an international tourist destination, and Buddhist pilgrimage site. To symbolize Yasodhara’s sacrifice and devotion, a temple to her should be created in each of these places. I humbly request and propose to all Buddhist scholars, intellectuals and concerned organizations that only after giving Yasodhara the due respect and recognition she deserves can we revert the injustice that history has done to her.
The author is the co-ordinator of Osho Tapoban and author of several books
swamiarun@gmail.com
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