I have failed my Class 12 board exams twice. I just can't seem to get through the exams no matter how hard I try. I study as hard as I can. I wake up at 4 in the morning, go for tuition classes, study till late at night, but I can't pass the Sociology and Economics subjects. My exam dates are nearing and I'm extremely nervous. I can't concentrate on anything and I'm panicking a lot. Sometimes I think I should just quit my studies since no one expects me to pass anyway.
-KLet me start by telling you that when I was doing my intermediates in Science, I failed in three subjects on my first year. By that time I had realized that my decision to take on Science was just a whim and that I was neither enjoying what I was learning, nor was I doing well at it. So I had decided that I was going to move to Arts and take up literature and psychology. However, taking into consideration that I would lose two years if I started all over from intermediates in Arts, I resolved to complete my intermediates in the same faculty before moving to do Bachelor's in Arts. This meant I somehow had to pass the three dreaded subjects from the first year and second year. And I did pass all the exams the next year with just enough grades.
Honestly speaking, intermediate degree to me wasn't about learning the wonders of Science. It was just about getting a degree so that I could move on with things that I really did want to learn.
I read those volumes of books to pass the examination and nothing else. I went through old questions, I got notes from friends, and I calculated how many questions I needed to answer in order to pass my exams. I found out which questions were a sure shot and which chapters I needed to spend most time on. I spent more time polishing the topics that I understood easily so I could try and get maximum scores on those. Then I spent more time learning about topics that were somewhat difficult but were sure to appear in the exams. I got my friends to help out and borrowed notes. I didn't spend much time on topics that were simply beyond my comprehension unless it was absolutely important for me to get passing grades.
If I go back and take those exams today, I will surely fail again. To me intermediate became a hurdle that I needed to jump over. If I learnt anything in those three years, I learnt not to let anything stop my journey of learning. I learnt that there are some things in life I will excel in, and some things I will do for the sake of doing it in order to move ahead in life. I learnt to set clear goals for myself. My goal was to move on without getting stuck. I set a goal of 42 so that even if I'd miss by a little, I'd still make it to 32.
The years that followed, I found myself in libraries enthralled by the wealth of knowledge that was out there. I became an avid reader of literature and human behavior. I finished my Bachelor's and then Master's. I then became a lifelong learner, learning from books, from people, and from life.
I look back to ISc as if it were a devil who was deluding me into doubting myself, obstructing my path, undermining my sheer confidence, and tricking me by painting a bleak picture of the future. It appeared as a rite of passage, but it was just an obstacle that I had to overcome.
Those failures didn't mean that I didn't have the potential to learn or do well in academia. Those failures weren't going to stop me from moving ahead in life and finding something that I really wanted to learn. Your failure doesn't mean that you don't have the potential to learn and develop love for learning. Those failures aren't going to stop you unless you stop yourself. This is just a devil on your path. Trick it and get past it and you find a whole new world of learning waiting for you. Don't let this devil beat you.
So crack the code the way I did for my intermediate exams. Don't try to learn everything at this point. Do the math and create a strategy that will help you win this battle and get enough grades so you can get through. This is not about learning anymore; this is about winning a battle. Once you get done with this, whole world of learning is going to open up. Therefore, just reading and reading and reading more is going to help. You've got to strategize a battle plan to pass this devilish exam. And for this battle, you're going to need a good strategy, and also good sleep. Half the battle is won in the mind. A stressed and tired mind can't win a battle.
I send you best wishes and prayers.
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