The perception and attitude of how people look or act with them has started taking a different turn but one knows it will take some time. [break]
Articles have been written, parades have been carried out and the Supreme Court, in the past, has ruled in favor of full rights to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) people, which includes the right to get married to the same sex.
It’s perfectly okay to be gay but the difficulty growing up in Nepal is beyond comprehension. 22-year-old Locomono (name changed for privacy) shares his experience about growing up as a gay in Kathmandu and the difficulties he faced while growing up.
In school
“I grew up in an all boy’s boarding school and I was attracted to one of the guys when I was 11-year-old and that’s when I knew that I was attracted to the same sex,” shares Locomono, adding that he also wanted to have a sex change and be a girl but later gave up the idea because he came in terms with himself.
Growing up in all boys’ school was difficult as he had to face harsh comments and bullying, “but I hardly gave any attention to it,” muses Locomono. His teachers, who were mostly from Darjeeling, were open-minded and encouraged him in dance competitions and other activities.
However, during his secondary levels in school, he barely had any friends and the few he had would not share notes, and he found himself wandering and sitting alone most of the time.
“I used to sit in the bathroom and cry sometimes because no one understood me and almost went into depression, but I came out of it when I came in terms with myself.”
By the time Locomono reached grade 11, he had suicidal tendencies but at the same time, he wanted to come out of the closet about his sexuality to his close friends.
“Even though some of them avoided me because of my sexuality in high school, I came out to my best buddies and they were very supportive about it and the thought of committing suicide soon vanished,” says Locomono.
The society
Coming from a Nepali family based in Kathmandu with father working in Nepal Police and a working mother, the pressure from Locomono’s parents was not as much as we would think.
“My dad was in the Police and he always wanted me to be a cop too. The society, my neighbors and relatives to be more precise, pressured my dad all the time and also suggested him to get me admitted to Dipendra Prahari School, so that my attitude and friend circle would change,” he says.
However, even though Locomono’s parents don’t know yet that he is gay, his dad was supportive and never gave much attention to what people said. “I was even admitted to Dipendra Prahari School, but when I couldn’t take it, I confronted my dad and he understood and I think my parents indirectly know that I’m not ‘a normal guy’,” says he.
Finding love
“Once I liked this guy who was dating one of my best girl friend, and I had a big fight with her because I was falling for him, even though he was straight, but later she made it very clear to me that he is not interested in me and we worked out things and we are still friends,” reminiscences Locomono.
However, it was in 2009 that Locomono’s aunt, who knew about his sexuality, suggested him to see one of her staff who was a bisexual.
“I took the suggestion and went out with him after that. I used to meet him, go out and he used to pick me up and drop me home from college and then we fell in love,” shares a smiling Locomono.
Love with a 26-year-old man soon turned into a relationship and both of them exchanged rings but it’s just between the two of them. “He is a flight attendant and flies all the time so it’s a long distant relationship but when he’s flying in to Kathmandu for a few hours, we catch up with things,” he says.
“I am happy the way I am and I wouldn’t change a thing and I suggest everyone to be just happy with who you are and not try and change things,” suggests Locomono.
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