Though, truth be told, what do I know about what's deemed appropriate. It's not like society trusts me to decide. When it comes to their clothes, a woman's opinion has always been the last one that counts. As if we don't have the capacity to exercise sound judgment on what's suitable attire for a certain occasion or place, there are rules in place.
One such law at the court gates made headlines around the country recently. Now while most still think it is incredulous that somebody was denied entry into the Kathmandu District Court for wearing her office uniform which happened to be a knee length skirt, there are those few as well who believe that the action was justified because 'it shows respect for our culture'.
The security personnel who had refused to let the lady entry into the court rooms cited that they had to maintain court decorum. Following these incidents, court officials and security personnel reportedly also acknowledged that they have banned women in short outfits inside the court. As they put it, "It may distract the stakeholders during court hearings." The woman in question had to wrap a shawl over her knee length skirt to get to her work that day in court.
It inevitably circles back to the same old matter of sexuality. It's like being back in school when a teacher used to bring out a measuring tape to check the length of your skirt. God forbid, if you had a growth spurt in the last couple of months and the hem grazed an inch too close to your knee. Starting from a young age itself, women are taught that they must dress to keep men from looking at them. The moment you hit puberty, it becomes the woman's job to not be a 'distraction' or in other words, manage the sexual desires of a man.
It's the reason people aren't asking, why the duty bound stakeholders would be distracted by one woman in a knee length skirt? If they weren't going to focus on the case at hand, wouldn't that be their fault? Oh no. The question is always conveniently directed at the woman. Why are you wearing a knee length skirt?!
It's as if our gender has signed on an agreement to keep the members of the other sex in check. Women, for as long as one can remember, have had the bogus end of a crappy deal. Nobody seems to be bothered about reminding the other half of the population about respect and proper conduct. As far as the society is concerned, it's the women's responsibility to not lead them astray from the said path of righteousness.
What's more, it's not like the dress code is exactly clear either. The society after all is known to be temperamental and modestly is not always a virtue. If movies, music, trends are anything to go by, popular culture dedicates that women must dress to get men to look at them. There are instances where modesty is downright discouraged. If it's her fault when a man objectifies her, it's also her fault if a man does not find her attractive enough.
The ultimate message is a very confusing one especially for younger girls. When a woman chooses what she is going to wear for the day, there are several factors that she has to evaluate first. Not because she wants to but because society demands her too.
A week ago The New York Times featured an article, "The men who are powerful enough to wear the same thing every day." The list included the likes of Mark Zuckerberg and Giorgio Armani. This also gave rise to a fervent discussion on twitter, could women get away with wearing the same thing to work every day? In a world where Hilary Clinton's hair and choice of pantsuits start as many discussions as her purposed bills, in a culture where there is more attention on Former Foreign Minister of Pakistan Hina Rabbani Khar's purse than her policies, could women get away pulling something like that?
If it was up to women, they would. There are women out there who would love to just throw on a pant/jacket to a wedding party or wear the same style T-shirt to work every day while some women perhaps wouldn't mind putting in the effort. But the fact remains it is not up to them to decide.
Getting increasingly frustrated while trying to peel the tiny paper from the back of her miniscule red tika, my aunt had once commented, "No wonder women lag behind. How are you supposed to get anything done if it takes this long to simply put on a tika!" It was such a poignant observation. I had suggested that she give up on tikas all together but she didn't agree.
"I'm a married women. Society expects be to wear something that signifies it," she had replied.
When it comes to what they wear, a woman's opinion, sadly ,has always been the last one that counts.
priyankagurungg@gmail.com
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