Even just a few years ago, a typical Bratabandha party would have the general Nepali vegetarian delicacies.[break] There would only be soft drinks. Guests would come, greet the boy, eat, discuss current affairs with dear and near ones and leave with a smile.
Today, the Bratabandha has been given an overhaul. The party often takes off with fancy snacks, complimented with good servings of booze. The sighting of non-vegetarian menus are becoming more commonplace and guests finally leave without having paid any attention to the cultural significance of the ceremony.
"The way these rituals are organized today should be controlled. The situation is totally different from before. Fifty years ago, we had to go through extreme conditions to actually pass the test of being a true Hindu. However, today, children wake up late for the Puja and don´t really pay much attention to the rituals," says a priest who wishes to be called ´Charikotko guruji´. He also adds that in the past few years, people are sinning, providing an option of non-vegetarian food and alcohol for the guests. This pure ritual is no more pure, he says.
Bratabandha means a sacred festival, and according to Hindu cultures, in sacred rituals, no consideration should be given to impure substances such as non-vegetarian food and alcohol. In fact, serving such substances at such rituals is actually against Hindu values.
These parties today are given the same value as marriage ceremonies. It´s almost as though people are just looking for an excuse to throw extravagant parties and often to flaunt their status in society.
The fact that those whom the ritual is being performed upon often forget the significance of it as soon as the big day is over. It is a testament to the decreasing value of what it means to have a Bratabandha. As it is a ceremony that is meant to declare a boy a man, there are various expectations that are to be upkept for a lifetime to come. However, as one can imagine, this is hardly ever followed through anymore.
"Through this ritual, I officially become a man in my culture. It´s my Bratabandha, a graduation ceremony of life according to the Hindu culture. This happens to certify the diplomacy in sprituality too. However one drawback is that you have to be bald," says Serene Khatiwda, student of Malpi Institute.
Even though most youths like Serene take this ceremony as a sacred one and an opportunity to become more mature, there are certainly a growing number of boys who are using this "graduation" ceremony as a visa to drink recklessly, to have a party and have sex! They have somehow left the Hindu interpretation of what it means to graduate into being a man. They have given the ceremony their own meanings. It´s obvious that drinking, smoking, or even eating meat is not what the Hindu scriptures prescribe when a boy becomes a man through this Bratabandha. However, this is precisely how many of today´s youth are choosing to see this ritual.
In fact, the whole argument that a ceremony is necessary to give boys access to a maturity they previously did not have is dubious in the context of today. Today´s young boys grow up quite quickly, often taking on very mature facets of life at a very young age. For example, they are working and earning at a younger age, and also having sex much younger.
Therefore, though Bratabandha is an integral part of Hindu culture, we have to admit that it is beginning to lose its essence. Today, the main question remains whether this ritual must be given as much importance as we used to give few years ago. The answer remains with the youth, who has the responsibility to fulfill the demands of the religion.
Related story
Top leaders, others throng 'Balgyani' Aaditya's bratabandha
