"So we decided to get married and I eloped with him last year," said Manamaya. "My parents were furious and they did not allow me to visit them until my daughter was born two months ago," she added. [break]
Early marriage and motherhood meant the end of school for her. At the same time, Manamaya already feels that her husband is no longer so close to her. "Things obviously change after marriage, and moreover my husband lives away from home because of his work," she says soberly.
The case of Laxmi Silwal, who tied the knot with Ram Silwal two years ago, is no different. Laxmi, already the mother of a 10-month-old, now looks overburdened by household and agricultural work in the village while her driver husband has an entirely different life. "Perhaps ours was more physical attraction than real love. Or else he would still be equally caring towards me," said Laxmi, a local of Dalchoki, Lalitpur.
Sixty three percent of girls below 18 and 69 percent of boys below 21 are already married in Nallu, Dalchoki, Bhardeu, Lele and Chughare VDCs of Lalitpur district. Interestingly, these are mostly ´love marriages´, according to a survey. The legal marrigeable age in Nepal for girls without parental consent is 18 years.
The survey carried out in 2010 by the Society for Local Integrated Development - Nepal with the support of the European Union states that Lalitpur leads the top five districts in the country where early marriage is rampant.
"And this has seriously affected the health and education of young girls. If early marriage is not prevented Nepal would be dealing with health complications like fistula and urinary prolapse in women for many year to come, among other problems", the study warns.
With EU support, five local NGOs have been carrying out child marriage prevention programs in Lalitpur, Dolakha, Sindhupalchowk, Nuwakot and Rasuwa districts. Nepal is among the top 10 countries in the world practicing child marriage, as per a survey by the UN in 2011.
“In the past parents used to force their children to tie the knot early. Nowadays children have taken matters into their own hands," remarks Ram Prasad Timilsina, principal of Baag Bhairav secondary school at Chaughare VDC. "If they don´t show up in school for a few days I can be sure they have already settled down and will not show up again, especially the girls. It is all due to excess freedom" he added.
However, reproductive health expert Dr Khem Karki begs to differ. "It is not at all due to excess freedom, but rather lack of freedom and awareness," he asserts. According to Karki, society should create a positive and conducive environment for exchanging amorous love as expressing such feelings in a positive way can make a significant contribution to managing one´s sex life.
“If they feel comfortable talking about sex and sexuality, that gives them an environment to learn safe sex behavior. When they learn about and practise safe sex, child marriage becomes less likely. So youths must be given reasonable freedom and guidance so that they can handle their ´overactive´ age more carefully."
Agrees Rameet Tamang, 16, who has a 15-year-old girlfriend. According to him, society does not tolerate them even walking together. "We like each other and love to spend time together. And for that, marriage is the only way out."
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