The answer seems to be a ´yes´. The discrimination against women and girls seems to cut across lines of income, class, culture and residence for our three female participants in this edition of chit chat. They discuss how they feel they are treated differently at home in comparison to their brothers.
Supriti Acharya, 17, shares how she had once talked to her parents about her future aim and received a straight no. “I essentially wanted to become an air hostess but since my parents rejected I guess I will now do my BBA and get involved in the banking sector,” she laments.
Kashmeera Guragain, also 17, shares a similar experience. She, too, would like to work as an air hostess but has not yet collected the guts to go and tell her parents about it. “I am sure it is going to be a no, so there´s no use talking to them,” she says.
Ritee Shrestha, 18, however, has her parents´ permission to decide what she wants for her future. “She is lucky,” Kashmeera sighs. Ritee, however, doesn´t agree; she bursts out, “It´s not being lucky; it´s just that my mom and I happen to like the similar profession.”
Whenever being late from college, they wouldn´t like to be interrogated about the places they go and the phone calls they receive.
The girls further discussed on how it was not only career decisions that parents were imposing. Little things in everyday life are restricted and inquired about, shard the girls.
“Let´s take a simple example here,” says Kashmeera, “When my brother asks for pocket money, he is never bombarded with questions but if I happen to do so, it is a compulsion for me to explain where and how I am going to spend it.”
The other two agree and share similar experiences. “Another thing that annoys me about our modern, educated parents is that we have to give specific details whenever we go out with friends,” says Supriti. “That´s absolutely normal for me,” says Kashmeera adding, “My parents wouldn´t allow me to go out for a movie.”
“What about the constant nagging about how we need to learn to cook to satisfy our future mother-in-law, our brothers never get that sort of torture,” says the frowning Ritee and all the girls nod in agreement.
The girls explained that right after they graduated from their schools, they were asked to learn household chores, which became like an everyday affair. There were many times when the girls were dragged into the kitchen while the males in the family had a good time doing whatever they wished.
These girls further shared how the discrimination was huge, even in the forms of the recreational activities they chose. All three of them expressed their desires to experience a disco, but stayed back only because their parents would not agree.
“Discos and late nights are only for our brothers,” says Kashmeera when Supriti puts in, “Would you believe me if I said I have not spent a single night out at any of my friends place?” Even that is only for the brothers, said Ritee and Kashmeera, but they preferred to laugh about it this time.
“You see these things are so common, that we are kind of habituated,” explains Kashmeera.
However, they expressed that because of this very nagging habit of parents, which is almost zero for their brothers, girls have had to lie, though knowing it was wrong.
“You see, there is no other option,” says Kashmeera and Supriti supports saying, “Sometimes you want to stay back at college after class for a little talk with friends, but parents will be mad about the fact that you are an hour late; so we just lie saying we had extra classes.” “We would not mind the questionnaire if it was the same with our brothers, but it does not happen that way, and so, it becomes even more irritating,” adds Ritee.
Although all three of our participants have educated parents, go to modern colleges and reside in the capital city, education and modernization seem to have failed to help them. They still spend nights wiping tears when their parents don´t pay much attention to their thoughts. They still feel the need for parents to be more open with them, and above all, they want equal love and respect as their brothers are blessed with.
These girls say even little things would make them feel happy. For instance, during a festival like Tihar, if their parents would allow them to participate in ´bhailo´ and wouldn´t mind their being a bit late. Similarly, whenever being late from college, they wouldn´t like to be interrogated about the places they go and the phone calls they receive. The ´who, why, where, and when´ type of queries are not so pleasing to the ears of these young and city gals.
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