Singled Out!

KATHMANDU, Feb 14: He is twenty-one and single. But the latter fact only bothers him during the Valentine’s Day.

“For the rest part of the year, there are always things to do, friends to hangout with and places to go. But as a single, you become a black sheep during the Valentine’s Day,” Ashok Adhikari, the student of Mass Communication and Journalism at Ratna Rajya College said. [break]

Last year, things weren’t that bad. Although it rained throughout the day, he had a good time listening to love poems at Sama Theater in Gurukul. The amateur poet was so inspired that he composed a poem for himself. The first line read, ‘Valentine’s Day cheated me this year, but I won’t let this happened next year.’

Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day “deceived” him again, and he plans to go to Gurukul this year too. As the matter of fact, he had some crushes and was hopeful. But when neither of them worked out he found out how love has become more like fast-food.

“You know, the lifestyle has become so fast that we want instant love like fast food. We don’t bother if there is heart to heart connection. You bump on someone at party, dance for a while and suddenly you’re in love.”

He added, “Or, there are part-time lovers, exclusively for Valentine´s Day only. And I’m not for it. So, I guess it’s my idealistic cynicism that kept me single this year too.”

Although Valentine’s Day is not native to Nepal, it is noticeable how it has become an integral part of pop culture here. Many see it as the effect of media hype.

Bhrikuti Rai, student of Mass Communications at Kathmandu University, who is hopeful about getting twosome this Valentine´s, agrees with this. “In a country like ours, where the urban youths grow up watching MTV, spending a lot of time in FM stations, we are bound to buy the thoughts they sell. And Valentine´s is their bestseller.”

While surfing through translated Russian novels at Book Fair in City Hall, twenty years old Rai told singlehood hasn’t got much to do with the day. For her it is just an excuse to express your love to the person you admire most. It could be your parents or pet or pal or anyone/

Rai is seeing a guy and hopes to be proposed on the day. But if things don’t turn out the anticipated way, she is also planning a girl’s day out.

But things are different with Rajeev Sapkota, a BBS student at Triton College, Subidhanagar. For twenty year old Sapkota, this is the first single Valentine’s Day. After eight years of relationship, he broke up with his girlfriend just two months before.

“It feels bad, pretty bad. Actually, very bad,” he said struggling to find more apt description. “It was altogether different world. Being in relationship, you also get this feeling of belongingness, which is so warm, so comforting.”

Although he doesn’t have any plans of patching up with his girlfriend, he plans to start the day by sending her an SMS.

In contrast to urban youth, many youngsters from rural area don’t find the day really important. Ram Chandra Bhushal, a twenty-five year old government worker at District Soil Conservation, Lalitpur, originally hails from Gulmi.

“I hadn´t heard of Valentine’s Day until I came to Kathmandu. To be frank, I don’t see the reasons why everyone’s got to celebrate it.” Bhusal plans to go to picnic with his friends from Gulmi at Thankot.

Never having celebrated the day, he doesn’t feel sad about not being able to celebrate it. But sometimes, he fancies having a girlfriend and going out. “Just for a change! I don’t know how it feels to do so.” he chuckled.

Another government worker, Yagya Poudyal, comes from Jhapa. For the twenty-six years old Poudyal, Valentine’s Day is just another casual day. Growing up in Jhapa, the border town to India in eastern Nepal, he felt he was more influenced by Indian culture than English.

“Honestly, I cannot relate to it,” the employee at Central Money Orders, Baber Mahal said candidly. “Just because we have adopted English calendar doesn’t mean, we also need to follow their festivals too.”

Poudyal, who is preparing for the non-gazetted officer’s exam, feels he has different priorities. According to him, somehow having a girl friend and going out for Valentine’s date is still a far-fetched idea.

“I guess, that day I’ll wake up, cook food and prepare for my exam, just as usual.”

The plight of ordinary people is understandable but how bugging is it to be a celebrity and single?

“It’s just okay,” said Nabin Kumar Bhattarai, who is known much for his love songs, on contrary, is one single we feature in every single’s story. “You know, there is a difference between reality and fantasy. And lyrics are more fantastic than realistic,” he explained.

For many of us it might be news that there were days when even Nabin used to have Valentine’s date. But that was thirteen years.

“Actually, the place where I had dated is already dismantled,” he said remembering THAT café around the old British Council Building in Jamal. Of course, he was still in his tenth grade.

As usual he plans to have a solo concert at some restaurant on the day. “I don’t know, I don’t have any, any plans. Most probably I’ll hang around with my friends. Besides, you don’t need to celebrate your love with a girl-friend only. Do you?”

Similarly Viplob Pratik, the famous poet who in spite of his as famous romantic demeanor is technically a single too.

Perhaps this is why when Pratik left for United States last week, few suspected he was having a grand Valentine’s Day. But during our Facebook chat, Pratik revealed from Garland, Texas it was rather a writing retreat and yes, he is still single.

Pratik feels singlehood doesn’t make him less eligible for Valentine´s Day. As he believes it is not your partner that makes you worth it, but in true sense it is the loving heart, which he says he has.

Since his brother leaves for office at eight in the morning, thanks to loneliness and recurring nostalgia, his stay in America is making him more poetic. “I guess, I’ll celebrate this Valentine’s Day with nostalgia,” he sniggered.

“I’ll write a poem about what if I were in Kathmandu and contemplate about the things I missed by being single. I still don’t know” he said on the eve of the Valentine´s Day. The poet, who thinks love is the greatest "sadhana", hopes the day will at least do to teach people about the value of love.