To be honest, we had our doubts. Men have always been notoriously tight lipped about their lack of body confidence. In fact, who knew there even was such a concept? Men concerned about their looks? Two decades ago catching a man whine about his hair or skin complexion would be considered a bizarre and rare sighting; today apparently not so much.
"Watching Hrithik Roshan in Bang Bang was amazing and annoying at the same time. Why did he have to look so good? His fantastically chiseled abs, his dance moves, his stunts – it all made you feel so mediocre. Thanks Hrithik, for my inferiority complex," says Shushant his words dripping with sarcasm. But we all can sense the truth behind it.
The pressure for men to look good has never been this great. Gone are the days when male grooming products constituted of only a razor and a toothbrush. These days there are ripped abs, and muscular biceps on every media outlet and using gel to style one's hair could even be categorized as a survival skill. Our forefathers may have gotten away with their cave man charms but guys of the 21st century have no such luck. Even the rugged, slightly disheveled male role models put a lot of careful thought into their appearance. Harry Styles, David Beckham, Pharrell Williams, Hugh Jackman; the standards these days are certainly high.
Some might argue that society in many ways still provides them a leeway, albeit in small ways. While women are expected to maintain a 24-36-24 figure, there are no such measurements for men. Men are indeed less likely than women to consider themselves overweight or in need of dieting. Also unlike the girls, they are rarely completely consumed by the thought of their body image.
For instance, let's take any TV series. Majority, if not all, lead actresses meet a certain standard of beauty. Male leads, on the other hand, are a completely different story. It's still possible to cast bald, short, and stocky or proud beer belly owners as the protagonist. So, yes, men may still not face the same level of pressure to look after their appearances as women but, don't be fooled say researches and men themselves. Do not, for a second, think there is no pressure at all.
"I have always been skinny. Skin and bones as my friends tease and I hate it," shares Rahul. "It sucks to stand beside my other bulked up or even normal built friends. It's such a bad look. I know I'm strong but that doesn't matter because it looks like I can't even carry a bucket of water," he adds.
His girlfriend is obsessed with Ryan Gosling. So beside his assignments, his other and only priority is to add muscles to his lanky 5'11" frame. It's the reason he is blowing his allowances on expensive supplements such as protein shakes and bars. Further he religiously goes to the gym every single day. He is desperate but at the same time hopeful too.
"See we never had these problems. Never." chips in Bijay.
Bijay is an entrepreneur and he turns 44 next month. "Back in our days, genetics was the only factor that dictated a man's built. There never was this gym culture. I mean, it is one thing to want to be healthy but for vanity? We didn't hear of this in our time."Bijay also often finds himself perplexed by all the men's beauty products that have cropped up in the market these days. "Skin whitening creams and fairness face washes? Really?" he laughs.
There could be no better example of the change in attitude towards vanity in men across the generations. Many squarely lay their blame on media. The other boys agree. Wayne Rooney is getting hair transplant, Gerard Butler is threading his eye brows, Simon Cowell is using botox; it seems male celebrities are taking grooming and maintenance to a whole new level.
For better or for worse, these days it's acceptable for men to stand in front of the mirror, fret about what they see and take steps to improve it. "Those wash board abs in particular," Shushant reiterates. "Media have begun portraying a rather unrealistic image of how men look as well."
And some men are certainly feeling the pressure. Perhaps not all of them but it is safe say, today it's not just the girls who are consumed by an unattainable body image. To make the assumptions official, Central YMCA even carried out a survey and they found out that it was indeed true. Men are catching up with women when it comes to worrying about their bodies.
Putting the vanity quotient to the side though, there are some serious male health and weight issues which are yet to be addressed. It's believed that approximately 10% of individuals with eating disorders that come to the attention of mental health professionals are male. But the myth that bulimia and anorexia are 'girl problems' still prevail.
A study of 135 males hospitalized with an eating disorder noted that the males with bulimia felt ashamed of having a stereotypically "female" disorder, which might explain their delay in seeking treatment. Similarly, it's believed that binge eating disorder may go unrecognized in males because an overeating man is less likely to provoke attention than an overeating woman.
In the past, while discussing body image issues men wouldn't even be considered for the equation but the scenario has obviously changed. There is no point pretending otherwise or worse, living in denial. In fact it's crucial to open a channel for honest dialogue. Let guys who lack body confidences know that they are not alone. That it is ok. It's all just a part of being human.
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