Inter-family marriage culture is practiced within the Gurung community. Marriage between cousins (a girl can marry the son of her maternal uncle) is not only accepted but highly encouraged in the community. According to sociologist Pol Bahadur Gurung, who has been carrying out research on Gurung wedding culture, young boys and girls in the community do not necessarily follow the old tradition these days. However, marriages between cousins have not yet become the thing of the past.
In the Gurung culture, the boy's family initiates marriage by delivering liquor and a special kind of sweets and other gifts to the chosen girl's house. If the offerings are accepted, the matter develops further and the boy's family organizes a party where the girl and her family members enjoy special treatment.
From the very first day of the party, the couple can start their conjugal life together even though they are not formally married yet. They are even allowed to have babies. "A formal marriage ceremony can take place after a few years. By the time they are formally married, some of the couples might even have grown up kids," said Pol Bahadur who is himself an example of the sort of 'live-in relationship' and he says that he is yet to complete the final ritual of marriage though he has kids already.
"Without following some rituals and throwing a celebration party, marriage is not considered complete and I'm yet to do that," he said.
Marriage at the Gumba is another popular culture followed by the Gurungs. However, some even perform their marriage rituals in temples these days.
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