How to pay for the big day is a big worry.[break]
Though many cannot afford to host an extravagant wedding affair, a lot of people feel the pressure of keeping up with the trend by managing to throw a big bash, no matter how difficult it may be.
TAKE THE GENNEXT
“Frankly speaking, the entire expense of wedding reception is unnecessary,” Shalin Pradhan, a procurement manager, who takes his vow this Sunday, told The Week.
“For decades, marriage has always been a social institution. But during such economic crisis and inflation globally, it’s really difficulty to please everyone in the society.”
Pradhan is one amongst many eligible bachelors in town who feel sandwiched between fulfilling traditional values and taking practical decisions.
“While we have to make sure that we don’t disappoint our parents and relatives by spending handsomely on whatever they say, we also have to keep up with the current trend of hosting the reception lavishly,” a bemused Pradhan added.
He believes that people are wasting huge sums of money in the name of following cultural practices.
“One could start a small-scale business from the money that they spend by throwing receptions, where hundreds of people are invited to wine and dine, and still they complain of something lacking or the other,” Pradhan said, referring to the current trends of hosting posh parties.
On the contrary, Matina Maharjan, Pradhan’s fiancé, has a different point of view.
“Yes, marriages come as expensive packages these days. But if we take it the other way, we’ll realize how important marriage is for us in our life. It’s a one-time affair and there’s no harm having your dear ones celebrating your happiness with you. A wedding has to be big traditionally.”
Rubina Ranjit, an officer at Machhapuchhre Bank, is planning her wedding this fall. She feels bad when she sits to realize how her parents will have to spend a lot to get her married off.
Nonetheless, she emphasizes that one must abide by the social norms, and because marriage is for once, there is no harm spending on it.
“It’s always good to celebrate with close ones, and relatives are an important part of our lives,” Ranjit said, “I also have to agree that our society forces us to do more than it’s required. We’re exposing ourselves to western cultures. In recent years, I’ve realized how we’ve taken the ring ceremony as a part of our culture.”
And because we live in a show-off society, it’s really been difficult for the middle-class people to maintain social standards.”
Daulat Jha, national observer at The Carter Center, says he is all broke after getting married last week.
“Going through my own experience, I can say that though the young generation isn’t positive about hosting extravagant affairs to announce publicly that they’re married, they somehow fall victim to society’s pressures,” a disappointed Jha told The Week.
“We all live in a gossip circle. And if we fail to please everyone by proving that we’re equally posh, we’re often humiliated.”
Ashim Karmacharya, manager at Global Bank and who is tying the knots this fall, terms the extravagant spending an “unnecessary showoff.”
“You need to know where your grounds are before you decide to fly. I understand that in Nepali society, there’s least the youth can do. They’re often silenced by orthodox cultures. But I don’t think people can tolerate everything. We’ll speak up at some point to change the rule.”
TAKE PARENTS
Shashi Pradhan, whose son marries next week, says she is really going through a financial crunch because she is spending more than 1.5 million Rupees on her son’s wedding, but adds that she will not compromise and will make her son’s wedding a most memorable one to cherish.
“Gold is almost 36,000 Rupees a tola, and we need 10 tolas at least, saris are so expensive, receptions come at 600 Rupees per plate, liquors are equally expensive, and there are many tidbits that are often overlooked but are essential in weddings,” Pradhan said.
Though she insists that she will almost go broke after the wedding is done, she however says she will not leave a space for her relatives to complain about.
“When I’ve attended receptions of so many people, I’ve to invite them too because we live in a society where a two-way process is the way to survive. The young generation thinks that it’s just their friends who are important in their lives, but nothing’s bigger than blood relation,” she added.
Patan resident Uma Joshi is a mother of two daughters. By the virtue of how the typical Nepali society functions, daughters mean bigger and more responsibilities. Like every other mother, Joshi is also saving her best for her daughters’ wedding.
Though Joshi agrees that it takes millions to host a marriage, she feels that the scenario is much better in recent years.
“During yesteryears, daughters were deprived of education and they had no jobs to secure themselves financially. And as a result, parents had to chip in the entire expenses required for their weddings. Today, women are educated and can help their parents financially,” Joshi commented on women’s new empowerment.
In following the traditional way of hosting receptions, she insisted that one should maintain the traditional norms so as to preserve one’s culture and establish unique identity in the society.
TAKE THE INDUSTRY
And it is not just the couples and their families who are facing the crunch. People in the business community have been equally affected as the health of the wedding business has sagged.
“Because the price of gold is going up everyday, our sales have gone down drastically,” says Narendra Kumar Gupta, director of Shree Riddhi Siddhi Jewelers.
“People used to buy at least 10 tolas of gold some years ago. Now, it’s come down to three or five. They are more focused on buying one good piece of necklace and ring than getting more,” he told The Week.
As per Nirmal Dhanuka, proprietor of Shree Balaji Diamonds, inflation has divided people into two groups – upper class and lower class, and the existence of middle class is almost zero.
“Today, it seems like gold ornaments and jewelries are made only for the upper-class people because gold is too expensive for middle-class people to offer while lower-class people can have no dreams at all,” Dhanuka opined.
On the contrary, Munna Rauniyar, proprietor of Libaas Sari Showroom at Indra Chowk, says that people are so indulged in ornaments that they often go broke before getting saris and suits for weddings.
“People used to buy at least 10 saris for a bride a decade ago. Now they hardly buy five sets,” he told The Week.
Binod Kumar Agarwal, chairman of Amrit Bhog Catering Service, says that our society has become so influential that people are never tired of comparing one’s social status to the other.
Agarwal said, “Upper class people will never face any problems, irrespective of how the inflation affects the economy. Lower class people will not face problems too because they don’t expect much from their life. It’s always the middle class people who are suffering the most.”
He made it loud and clear that middle class people are so much into comparing each other’s status that they land up ruining their financial stability.
“If one offers Chinese and Mexican delicacies at a reception, the other tries to imitate the same and even goes on adding more international varieties, just to show that you’re equally of class,” Agarwal said.
According to him, per-plate dinner for a reception comes to Rs 400 to Rs 700 on average. The figure may vary, depending on the items served, excluding liquors.
Influenced by glitzy celebrity nuptials and themed TV shows now, gone are the days when marriages were considered a spiritual ritual that tied two souls together and for ever. Today, weddings have gone ever more extravagant and are more of an economic statement. With the price of gold not showing any signs of falling and as weddings do not just end with gold, would-be couples face more problems by the day.
The wedding and your economy – it all boils down to hard choice.
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