No man is born as perpetrator and no women is born as a victim. We become perpetrator or victim in process of adoption. We are the portrait of our society where male are considered as powerful and superior being women are considered as fragile and weak. Whenever a guy listen female issue or women issue it gives men an excuse not to pay attention because he automatically tends to think that I am a guy and it of women and he don’t get beyond the first sentence. This is what he learn from his society. Similarly, whenever a women is violated physically, sexually, verbally or so on she thinks twice before raising a voice. This is the result how we are molded by the bad practices of our society. We have adopted the bad culture of blaming the one whom something was done rather than someone who did it. We can take the recent issue where woman in skirt barred from district court. As soon as this news flashed in news channel and newspapers, almost all the people began to blame the victim or the girl in shirt. Everybody was busy questioning why she wore skirt? Why didn’t she wear sari or pant? And many more. This is just an example but many other recent issue of domestic and sexual violence can be included where only the victim has become the center part. If a girl of any age is raped people start to point out the girl who is victim. People start questioning about her like why she have to be out till late? Why she go to pub with boys? How she was sitting with boy in the party and so on. Asking a question is never bad, it’s a human nature and I’m personally not against it. But what I want you all to focus is that asking question about the victim will not going to take us anywhere. We have to ask a different sets of questions like why that security officer stopped the girl at the door of district court? Why a domestic and sexual violence is a big problem in our society and all over the world? Why so many men rape women? Why adult men sexually abuse little girl and boy? Why acid attack? Why rape? Why domestic violence? Why? …..This kinds of question we need to discuss and work on rather than discussing what and how women are doing and thinking. We should think of taking things differently so we can bring the change by resocializing men.
If men are resocialized then they will be part of the movement against gender violence and take a stand in a personal and professional level, political and intellectual level and every level along with women which will affect in positive way not just in women and girls but in men and boys. If men are resocialized then they will stand along with women not against women and the voice which have been raised since years, months and weeks by the women for preserving their rights will be heard and they would get justice. Similarly, resocializing process can change the perception of boys who have been traumatized by adult’s behavior made towards their mother or sister or any other members in a family. If resocialization process will not prevail then both male and female will be the victim of male violence. Resocialization can act as an instrument of stopping. If a boy finds that his friend is cheating a girl or asulting her then he can take a stand for girl and stop his friend. Saying no to violence and stopping someone from being perpetrator is outcome of resocialization which our Nepalese society lacks.
Martin Luther King said that in the end what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends. When we see something wrong is happening around us then we have to take stand we should have the courage of saying No to bad. We should help the person around us. Thus, we need to break the silence and take a stand for justice. If we can’t break the silence then we have no rights to blame others.
Now a days every news channel, newspaper, social networking site and many other includes an issue regarding gender violence. Whenever we listen to word gender we automatically think of women. We all take gender as synonyms of woman. But in real sense gender is not only about women it is also about men. So, gender violence is not just about the violence against women it is also about the violence against men. It’s a social violence which is deeply rooted in our Nepalese society as well as all over the world.
No man is born as perpetrator and no women is born as a victim. We become perpetrator or victim in process of adoption. We are the portrait of our society where male are considered as powerful and superior being women are considered as fragile and weak. Whenever a guy listen female issue or women issue it gives men an excuse not to pay attention because he automatically tends to think that I am a guy and it of women and he don’t get beyond the first sentence. This is what he learn from his society. Similarly, whenever a women is violated physically, sexually, verbally or so on she thinks twice before raising a voice. This is the result how we are molded by the bad practices of our society. We have adopted the bad culture of blaming the one whom something was done rather than someone who did it. We can take the recent issue where woman in skirt barred from district court. As soon as this news flashed in news channel and newspapers, almost all the people began to blame the victim or the girl in shirt. Everybody was busy questioning why she wore skirt? Why didn’t she wear sari or pant? And many more. This is just an example but many other recent issue of domestic and sexual violence can be included where only the victim has become the center part. If a girl of any age is raped people start to point out the girl who is victim. People start questioning about her like why she have to be out till late? Why she go to pub with boys? How she was sitting with boy in the party and so on. Asking a question is never bad, it’s a human nature and I’m personally not against it. But what I want you all to focus is that asking question about the victim will not going to take us anywhere. We have to ask a different sets of questions like why that security officer stopped the girl at the door of district court? Why a domestic and sexual violence is a big problem in our society and all over the world? Why so many men rape women? Why adult men sexually abuse little girl and boy? Why acid attack? Why rape? Why domestic violence? Why? …..This kinds of question we need to discuss and work on rather than discussing what and how women are doing and thinking. We should think of taking things differently so we can bring the change by resocializing men.
If men are resocialized then they will be part of the movement against gender violence and take a stand in a personal and professional level, political and intellectual level and every level along with women which will affect in positive way not just in women and girls but in men and boys. If men are resocialized then they will stand along with women not against women and the voice which have been raised since years, months and weeks by the women for preserving their rights will be heard and they would get justice. Similarly, resocializing process can change the perception of boys who have been traumatized by adult’s behavior made towards their mother or sister or any other members in a family. If resocialization process will not prevail then both male and female will be the victim of male violence. Resocialization can act as an instrument of stopping. If a boy finds that his friend is cheating a girl or asulting her then he can take a stand for girl and stop his friend. Saying no to violence and stopping someone from being perpetrator is outcome of resocialization which our Nepalese society lacks.
Martin Luther King said that in the end what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends. When we see something wrong is happening around us then we have to take stand we should have the courage of saying No to bad. We should help the person around us. Thus, we need to break the silence and take a stand for justice. If we can’t break the silence then we have no rights to blame others.
Related story
resocializing men
