I am 28 years old, and work as a freelance interior designer. I am married and have a baby of just six months, so it’s really difficult for me to step outside home and work full time in some office. Most of my friends, on the other hand, have fulltime jobs and have good social life although most of them still don’t earn as much as me. Most of the times I am happy about my life, but sometimes when I browse through their Facebook profiles and see all the fun they’re having, I feel incomplete. It feels like I have ruined my youth by getting married much earlier than my friends, and I hate it that I can’t go out and have fun as freely as they can. What’s going on with me?
– Confused
Someone once asked me, “How come the entire world is happy except me?” I asked, “How do you know?” “From their pictures on Facebook,” she replied. A picture speaks a thousand words but trust me, 999 of them are not true – they are the manifestation of our own desires. We see in pictures what we want to see and we make 999 interpretations of what we want to believe in. What you’re feeling and going through are very normal. We all are incomplete in some ways. You look at your friends’ social life and wonder about yours. Their hearts probably crunch at the picture of you basking in motherhood with your baby’s face on the hollow of your chest. Life gives everyone reasons to be happy but may be not the same things to be happy with. Having said that, I recently edited my Facebook photo album and replaced it with the best moments of my life, took off all the pictures where I didn’t look sexy, and filled it with the ones with biggest smiles. You should try it. If that’s what it takes to count our blessings, why not?
Dear Swastika,
I’ve always been a brilliant student, and have always taken my life and responsibilities seriously, never taking anything for granted. But because my parents couldn’t afford it, I gave up my dream of studying abroad after high school and started studying at a public college. I did really well there, too, and I’ve got a job that I am happy about most of the times. However, when I see my classmates from school who were never serious in studies and who, the teachers claimed, would do no good in life, are now abroad and doing so much better. Some of them have even got jobs that I am quite sure they don’t deserve. I always believed I would have a bright future, but now I’ve started believing that along with intelligence and hard work, one also needs luck to get ahead in life. I am only 23 and I think I still have time to be positive about life, but right now, life’s totally unfair to me.
– Unlucky
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve definitely been there myself. As a child, I hoped life would be fair. Growing up, I realized life’s never fair. Now in my thirties, I’ve realized that it’s not about being fair or unfair – life just has a funny way to teach us what we need to learn. Luck is a good thing to have and it does take us to places. But what may be more important is to have a capacity to decode the mysteries of life and learn what it wants to teach us. It’s so important to have faith that there’s meaning in life, there are reasons and there are treasures that are just waiting to be discovered and new pathways in life that are clamoring to unfold. You’ve been blessed with brilliance and you’ve also been blessed with the ability to carve your own pursuit to happiness. If you don’t have a shirt on, make sure you’re wearing a hell of a pant and (a winner’s attitude) – inspired by “Pursuit of Happyness” starring Will Smith based on a true life story of a man who, from being homeless, carves his own pursuit of happiness to become the richest stockbroker. Luck is so overrated.
Dear Swastika,
I’ve been in relationship for more than five years. My job requires me to work odd hours, and my boyfriend feels I’m devoting more time to my work than to him. I love my work so much but I can’t bear to fight with my boyfriend every time about it. He says he feels ignored although I do all I can to make sure I give him enough time whenever I can. A few days back, he was so upset, he asked me to leave the job. What should I do? I love my boyfriend and I love my job too.
– Prativa
Most of the time in our lives and most people in the world just coast through life without anything as much as a hiccup. There are average days, average lives, average desires, and average moments where life is in perfect harmony and balance. Then there are people and times when we want more than average. We want our relationships to take to new heights or our career to take a leap. Then there are also moments in life when things fall apart and we need to find new balances. It’s a human trait to want everything and I believe it’s possible to have everything if we can do the balancing act. Maybe it’s time for you to give more time to your boyfriend because your relationship is falling apart. There might be a time where you may want to move from being average at your job and take big leaps forward. At that time you’ll be able to ask him to hang in there and be patient. And then once you get where you need to get in your career, you’ll be able to come back to him and rejoice in the bliss of your relationship. Life is a balancing act and life is designed to give you everything you want – one at a time.
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