Well, a simple word like ‘run’ has more than 250 different meanings! Amazed? Don’t be, because there are also words like ‘cleave’ that can mean ‘stick to’ or its exact opposite ‘split,’ depending on the way it is used. English, for sure, seems to be notoriously hard as a language with plenty of sentences like, ‘The bandage was wound around the wound.’ This is not it. I shall tell you more about English that you too may find odd. Did you know English is the only language that capitalizes the word ‘I’? Funny, isn’t it? [break]
While we are at it, let us also consider the fact that there are plenty of words meaning entirely different, depending on how and where they are used in a sentence. For example, the word ‘up,’ depending on usage, can easily be an adjective, a noun, a verb, a preposition, or an adverb! I know you are confused, but it is true. Despite all these oddities, English language has a vocabulary of nearly a million words, of which only 3,000 words are used in daily conversation, and the remaining words seems like a big waste.
By now you must be thinking that English is a crazy language. Let’s face it. Oftentimes, English is indeed outrageous.
Now you are asking, ‘What’s outrageous about it?’ Consider this: There is no egg in eggplant and nor there is apple or pine in pineapple. Similarly, sweetmeats are candies without meat while sweetbreads are not sweet. We (those who are fluent in English) have a tendency to take English for granted and tend to forget that it has its own share of paradoxes. Like quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pigs are neither pigs nor have any trace of Guinea. At the same time, though writers write, fingers don’t fing and hammers don’t ham.
Sometimes I ask myself, if teachers taught, why don’t the preachers praught? I find it funny that the plural of tooth is teeth but the plural of booth is not beeth! I know you guys are laughing your head off. Wait, there’s more to come. Logic says, if plural of mouse is mice, then plural of house should be hice, right?
So you see how crazy it is. Look at this, again: you can make amends but not one amend. The craziness continues.
Do you know of any other language except English where people recite at a play and play at a recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship, have noses that run, and feet that smell? I agree it’s only in English language that a slim chance and a fat chance are the same. Don’t you think it is crazy that a wise man and a wise guy are complete opposites? Again, it is only in English language in which your house can burn up as it also burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
Looking at all the paradoxes and craziness, I know you are wondering why all English speakers can’t be confined to an asylum for the verbally insane so you don’t have to learn such a crazy language anymore.
But not so fast! You see, people, not computers, invented English. Hence there are numerous examples that reflect the creativity of human race, and mind you, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why you see the stars when they are out and nothing at all when the lights are out. So don’t blame yourself for your weak English language.
The next time if you score less in your English exam, don’t be hard on yourself. Although 3/5th of the entire world’s mails are written in English, it still has a reputation of being the oddest of the languages.
Pokharel is an educationist, consultant and author of several children’s books.
Related story
Gurung and Magar languages to be made official languages
