Indira Gandhi, when asked to state her greatest moment in life, reportedly said, “When I became a mother.” Indeed, if one of the most powerful women in world history regarded becoming a mother as the greatest moment in her life, for ordinary women like us it is no doubt the best moment and a turning point in life. Birthing a healthy baby and holding the newborn child in her arms gives an indescribable feeling of happiness to a woman. For most, it is also a moment of rebirth. On this Mother’s Day, I would like to congratulate all mothers for the sacrifices they have made and all the love they have given their children.
The importance of a woman as a mother in every family and society is invaluable. I have no doubt in my mind that the human race would have been extinct a long time ago if mothers were not endowed with endless love, patience and wisdom. Today, as you read this, I invite you to celebrate your mother and think about her life from the time you were in her womb. I also request all readers, both women and men, to become advocates for safer and more respectful motherhood in Nepal and around the world.
MOTHERHOOD-CAFE.COM
Nepali women’s rights activists talk about a number of rights we would like ensured in Nepal, but often as activists (from advantaged groups) we forget the most basic and important of all rights—the right to a healthy and dignified motherhood. For most women reading this article, childbirth may have been a good experience, but for many other women in Nepal and around the globe, it unfortunately is not so. Accompanying a niece-in-law to Prasuti Griha for her delivery, I was horrified to see the blood on the beds and the floor of the delivery room, and an almost complete lack of privacy or dignity for the women in the throes of birthing a baby. Fortunately, she was a nurse herself, and took things in her stride with equanimity, almost birthing her own baby! However, I was not surprised that after a few months, they had to close the entire place due to infection in delivery rooms. To tell you the truth, I have seen cleaner cow-sheds! But hospital management cannot alone be blamed for the treatment meted out to women or for the shabby ‘up-keep’ of the place. They are overwhelmed with the number of delivery cases. There is literally no time to even wipe a delivery bed clean due to the heavy flow of patients, forget bedside manners or handholding of the woman in labor!
But the scene has stayed with me, and I do revisit it from time to time and think there should be a better and kinder introduction to motherhood for all Nepali women. Further, one realizes that the abject situation of maternity care is a failure both of society and a patriarchal culture, and inadequate governance with regard to policy and program (and almost all other aspects!). Our challenge was, and still is, getting women access to skilled care during pregnancy and childbirth so that both mother and child would live, but the care provided should be respectful as well.
‘Respectful Maternity Care’ is becoming quite a buzzword in many developing nations as it is increasingly being realised that a woman’s human rights are seldom realised in the process of becoming a mother. Safe motherhood is not only an issue of physical safety but an important rite of passage with deep personal, social and cultural significance for a woman and her family. In Nepal a number of positive and negative social and cultural practices are related to childbearing. It is important that safe motherhood does not just become a tool to prevent mortality and morbidity. Safe motherhood must include a woman’s feelings, dignity, privacy, choices and preferences, including the choice of companionship. Intrinsically tied to this concept is the treatment received from care providers during pregnancy, childbirth and the post-partum period. The expectation is for kindness, caring, empathy, support, respect, understanding and effective communication, from which a woman can make informed choices during this most important phase of her life. A woman’s relationship with caregivers during this period, if positive, can be reaffirming and lead to an increase in self-esteem and confidence. If the relationship is negative or neglectful, it can inflict lasting damage, emotional trauma, and even death.
The sad story of 28-year-old Trishna Bohora of Sirsa VDC of Dadeldhura illustrates such a tragedy of neglect and disrespect. Trishna was recently admitted to the Team Hospital in Amargadhi Municipality and had a normal delivery and a healthy baby. Around 7.30 pm in the evening, she started bleeding. Her guardians requested the attendants to call the doctor or senior nurse, but nobody came until 11 am the next morning, by which time she had bled to death. Her family members then started an agitation, and during the course of it, the newborn also died of neglect. This is, of course, an extreme case of criminal neglect and disrespect, as Trishna was a poor and powerless woman. But many women like Trishna undergo great trauma, neglect and disrespect at healthcare facilities. We can only guess the impact of Trishna and her baby’s death amongst the women of child-bearing age in her village.
It is increasingly being realised that a woman’s human rights are seldom realized in the process of becoming a mother.
If on this Mother’s Day we truly want to show love and respect for our mothers, we must ensure Respectful Maternity Care rights in Nepal within the context of safe motherhood. Thus, in seeking and receiving maternity care before, during and after childbirth, we must ensure that: Every woman has the right to be free from harm and ill-treatment; Every woman has the right to information, informed consent and refusal and respect for her choices and preferences; Every woman has the right to privacy and confidentiality; Every woman has the right to be treated with dignity and respect; Every woman has the right to equality, freedom from discrimination and equitable care; Every woman has the right to healthcare and to the highest attainable level of health; Every woman has the right to liberty, autonomy, self-determination and freedom from coercion.
We must all understand that disrespect and abuse during maternity care are a violation of women’s basic human rights, and move towards legally ensuring these human rights in the context of Nepal along with appropriate human and other resources for quality health care.
Such stories of neglect, abuse and disrespect during the process of becoming a mother are just too commonplace in our country to treat this write-up as just an article and forget what it implies for the current and coming generations of Nepali women of reproductive age. We must ensure that not even one mother has to undergo humiliation or abuse, and that all pregnancies and childbirths are beautiful times for all. Only then can we truly celebrate Mother’s Day in Nepal.
The author is President of Safe Motherhood Network Federation of Nepal and Chair of the Global Board of the White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood
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