Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter were abuzz with posts and tweets about the earthquake. Many of my friends on Facebook wanted me to give them constant updates about the impact of the quake. Some of them even requested me to call their folks and pleaded to get back to them as quickly as possible.
LOVE
In essence, what was in display was deep concern emanating from unconditional love, one of the most important fuels needed to run the engine of happiness. Many people equate happiness with money and material possessions. This is a flawed view. The quest for materialism and the quest for lasting happiness do not go together. Today a person who has a two-wheeler might be overtly or covertly harboring a desire to drive at least an entry-level car such as an Alto.
But as soon as he buys an Alto, he will start hankering for a Swift. And as soon he succeeds in purchasing a Swift, he will want a SUV, then a Mercedes, a helicopter, a Boeing… There is no end to this. Material objects might give us temporary happiness but lasting bliss comes from having loving and nurturing relationships, a job that we love doing and something to hope for.
Happiness is related to money only up to a certain point. Leading psychologist Edward Diener says: “At levels of dire poverty, money can certainly matter. Our work in the slums of Calcutta, and among the homeless in the US, plus international comparisons, show that at levels of real poverty, increases in income do matter for happiness. But above a certain point, there are only small increases in well-being due to increase in money.” (‘Money matters, but not beyond a point’, Outlook, Jan 10, 2005)
JOB
Having a decent job is another key to happiness. That not having to work will make us happy is a mere myth. But what is important is to have a job that we love. Pursuing a profession that we dislike or doing a job where the demands are far greater or far below our ability is a sure recipe for unhappiness. It is important to ask ourselves “Am I getting what I am worth?” But, in the same breath, it is equally important to ask: “Am I worth what I am getting?” The mismatch between both aspirations and opportunities and ability and expectations can take a huge toll on our mental health.
HOPE
Hope is another vital but often ignored component of happiness. Things might be messy today but if we have reasons to look forward to the future, it helps us to keep on going. Nepali students abroad need hope that they can return to Nepal and take on meaningful jobs. Migrant workers need hope that someday they will be able to return to their families and get opportunities to be gainfully employed. The absence of hope that politics will take a positive turn in the future and such opportunities will spring up is perhaps what has made a lot of Nepalis so cynical. This cynicism reflects everyday in the responses that we receive on our website.
I recently asked a young friend, a brilliant writer, to write something for us and this is what she had to say: “I´m kind of scared of those responses. I don´t know, people are so angry these days. It´s like swimming in a river full of alligators. You write something nice and benign and everybody is just out to attack.”
She was right. People are furious. The lack of hope has made many Nepalis unhappy.
Does that mean that we give up? We should at least try our best not to. Life becomes miserable the day we stop hoping. As said in the great Hindu epic Mahabharata: “Hope is the sheet anchor of every man. When hope is destroyed, great grief follows, which is almost equal to death itself.”
The writer is Editor of Republica’s Editorial/Op-Ed pages. The paper welcomes articles on subjects such as beauty, happiness, health, love, money relationships, religion, etc
bhuwan@myrepublica.com
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