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OPINION

Social distancing for family socialization

I have been reading newspapers and come across the following headlines: People asked not to make movements outside the home except when it is absolutely essential, gatherings of more than 25 persons a...
By Usha Pokharel

Think of something unique to do during these times of social distancing with your family. Brighten up the lives of your friends and family by being a little social


I have been reading newspapers and come across the following headlines: People asked not to make movements outside the home except when it is absolutely essential, gatherings of more than 25 persons at party venues, temples, mosques, monasteries and other public places banned, cinema halls, cultural centers, stadiums, gyms, health clubs, museums, swimming pools, entertainment spaces, dance bars and clubs to remain shut till April 30, regular classes and examinations of academic institutions suspended till April 12.


This was all a part of precautionary social distancing measures taken by the government in an attempt to avoid coronavirus.  Finally, Nepal is learning from the mistakes made by other countries.  Most countries have started working from home, which is all well and good.  The real problem for the parents lies during the weekend.  That’s because you don’t work on those days and there are not enough places to go either, because of social distancing. 


In the US, I understand, social distancing is, keeping at least six feet of distance between individuals.  Keeping in mind the fact that the old people are vulnerable, according to CBS news, grocery stores across the US reserve shopping hours for senior citizens during coronavirus outbreak.  Some supermarket chains, according to the report, are making sure older and at-risk Americans can both get the food they need and avoid crowds by reserving special hours for this group.  A larger regional chain, Stop & Shop, started to follow the “senior hour” trend. Starting Thursday, March 19, the northeastern chain will open earlier in order to service only customers who are 60 and above from 6-7:30 a.m.   I wonder if the big supermarkets here would take similar actions, to save Nepal’s elderly from getting infected.


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While we are all worried and are following self-isolation of sorts, and understand the consequences, the younger generation is at a loss of options.  There are no libraries to borrow books online to read. On top, most children have lost the skill of reading books.  They would rather watch movies and videos, than read books. Under such circumstances, this is the time for parents to get membership of Netflix for themselves and their children.  They can also explore PBS KIDS for younger children.  For your older children free eBooks are available at Project Gutenberg.  


Apart from this you might even think of buying gaming system for your children. That will be very beneficial for them.  The other thing to do is to have your relatives abroad share with you their library account so that you can borrow books online. You can do the same with Netflix membership too.   


Apart from this you could go back to your memory bank and remember the days you spent at your village as a child.  The best option for your adolescent would be spending time in the village. With fresh air and getting into the day-to-day activities there, they will be wiser and will appreciate the work done by the others. They will love to learn to milk the cow, care for it or even run after the sheep, climb trees, sow seeds and tend to plants. The options are unlimited there.  With an open mind they might even appreciate bathing in the nearby river.  


If you don’t have all these options, it’s time to get reintroduced to Ludo, Chess, Checkers, go fish with cards and Carom board and play Uno with your little one.  If you can afford, you can buy some board games to play with you children.  If you have tried all these with your children, during the long hours of load-shedding, there is nothing better than just plain old chatting and getting to know your partners and children better and thereby building a bond with them. You can always play the game of story building with the whole family, after dinner.  Of course, you can dedicate someone to note down and read at the end of the session. Come to think of it, spending quality time with your children will be something they will remember for a long, long time. Now is the time, to be creative and make the most of the difficult situation that we are all facing.  


If you have elderly at home, this is the time to learn about their skills and knowledge.  Find out about their time and the difficult situations they faced in their past.  It’s time to listen to their stories.  I still remember listening to my grandmother’s story of how she got married at the early age of four.  These were fascinating stories and real life stories.  What mattered most were the conversations we had with our grandparents. Sharing their experience with us was their way of imparting information that would remain with us for the rest of our life.


I still remember vividly after 55 years, my grandmother’s description of a procession of the young sati (hardly ten years of age) on her way to being burned alive with her dead husband.  According to my grandmother, the young sati looked like a bride but fully drenched in oil to facilitate easy burning. She used to cry describing the scene and the children listening to her narration, would cry with her just imagining the pain of the young sati. I wonder if we had electricity whether we would ever have sat there and listened to her stories.  I am thankful there was no electricity and that provide us the opportunity of listening to her rich experiences.


One such experience was her telling us about how she saved the life of a politician by hiding him within the folds of her ‘gunew’ (sari).  We all had a good laugh at the time but she scolded us saying it was such a scary scenario with the British police searching for him, to have him killed. Eventually, she too laughed saying whatever was supposed to happen, happened and that’s that. The other incident that she fondly repeated was the bonfire of western clothing that my grandfather had, henceforth adopting Gandhian half dhoti for the rest of his life.


Those were amazing times that gave us a wealth of information, which is nowhere to be found now. Each day, we waited anxiously for the time we sat down with our grandparents and listened to their rich experience. My grandfather had his own special stories to tell.  He told us of times when a huge snake came and drank milk, right from the cow’s nipple and we would be amazed at that.  All the children would cry out, “no, no that’s not right”, and he would say, ‘I saw it, so no question of me lying to you, so believe me’ and we would look at each other in the dim light and shake our heads not believing him, but keeping quiet hoping for more such stories to follow. He would talk about his jail experiences, his experiences during floods in the Kajiranga buffalo reserve, where he shared a machan with a huge snake, and we would just stick together in fear.  


After recovering we would yell, “tell us more! Tell us more!!” Sometimes he would tell us about his experience during his fight for independence in India.  To us these times spent were quality times.   If this is not an option, you might even pickup that book you started to read some time ago! May be you will realize the phone call you were supposed to make to your mother.  Who knows, you might even find the energy to visit her for a quiet dinner. Imagine how much love and appreciation you will gain by that.  You may sort that bookshelf of yours that you always wanted to fix. 


Finally, now that you have some examples, think of something unique to do with your family. Give it a try and brighten up the lives of your friends and family by being a little social. Every cloud has a silver lining. Take this social distancing as an opportunity to know your children and family members a little better.


Pokharel is an educationist and author of several children’s books

usha@pokharel.net

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