For a moment, I could not stop thinking about the many-times extended deadline of the Constituent Assembly of the country. (I was reading about the resignation by the Prime Minister Jhalanath Khanal in Nepal, wondering how it might affect the never-ending process of writing the constitution.) She, I realized after some time, was talking about the child we are expecting in about a month’s time.
Like most would-be-parents, we often go through many phases of fretfulness. But, with us, there is something else too that is not generally a cause of concern for others - the citizenship of a yet-to-be-born child.
I am a Nepali and my wife an Indian of Nepali origin.
Before we agreed and signed on the ‘accord’ that made us husband and wife, we did not settle many matters. The euphoria of falling in love had blinded us enough. In the hullabaloo of the ceremony, we did not think about the other nuances of married life.
One such issue is the citizenship of our child. I obviously want the child to become a citizen of Nepal but I also want to try my best to accept my wife’s opposing wish, respectfully.
After a thorough discussion on the matter, we have decided we will let the child choose when the right time comes. With a hope that I will be able to lure my child towards Nepal, I added a condition that we will present our case without any negative propaganda about the other nation.
Though it might sound strange, it is the most practical, non-violent, gender-neutral, inclusive, peaceful and unbiased formula that we could come up with.
While my wife seems really assured now, my worries have begun. Much like the condition of our nations, respectively.
The reason why I want my child to accept the country of my birth as its own is unknown to me, beyond the rational. It might be the blind patriotism. It might be the fear or humiliation of rejection.
Given the condition today, the idea really scares me – will I be able to sell Nepal to my own child after fifteen years?
Thinking about the uncertainties that Nepali politics promises in the days to come, I can’t blame my wife for opposing me on this issue. At times I have heard people in Nepal itself say in frustration, “We would have done better if India had taken over Nepal, like Sikkim.”
However, under the spell of frustration and jingoistic incitements, the same people abuse India, shout slogans against and burn tires in protest of over-indulgence and interference. Or is this simply an irritation for India being the bigger and stronger neighbor?
It is normal for people to think about the education prospects, jobs and living condition of their children. It is also normal for parents to do the best they can for their children. So, I know in my heart, it is justified rationally when my wife says- anywhere but Nepal. Where are the schools, colleges? Where are the hospitals? Jobs? Stability? I don’t have the answers. And those who are supposed to answer these questions for us and work towards the solutions are not doing it.
Even under such circumstances, it really troubles me to accept that the chances that my child might choose India over Nepal are high.
The reason why I want my child to accept the country of my birth as its own is unknown to me, beyond the rational. It might be the blind patriotism. It might be the fear or humiliation of rejection.
In deeply emotional mood, many times, I have thought of vetoing the complete idea in favor of Nepal. But, firstly, knowing that this arrogance is completely unethical and sexist, and secondly, it is beyond my powers to get it accepted, I settle on hope and optimism – for my idea, for my country and also for my idea of my nation.
In this strange predicament, I realize, I am forced to witness every turn of event in the country through the eyes of my child, judging it for the image that is being built, for the promise it is or is not able to generate. And so, a weird and wonderful insight strikes me- If only we had learnt to work as if we had to sell our country to our next generation, we would have done wonders by now.
I don’t want to give-up hope so easily. And I don’t want to give up on my country so early, as we all know, most of us don’t have a choice for our children.
dinkar.nepal@yahoo.com
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