Look at the brighter side of life

Dear Sadichha,

I am 40 years old. I have been living in Nepal for more than 20 years. Post my two decades of stay in Nepal, I have mastered myself in speaking Nepali. However, people still call me dhoti and say mean things. Seriously, that hurts. My wife is Nepali and my son has a Nepali citizenship. Eve my son is treated similarly. I don’t know what to do.

The world is filled with all kinds of people. Some are helpful, kind and caring while others are just the opposite. Our lives are also filled with both types of people. So, look at the brighter side to your life. Don’t let these mean comments from hateful people affect you. There must be people who value your presence and cherish you, so focus on that and teach your son to do the same. There are many Nepalese who wish that they weren’t Nepalese. and many people who don’t have a Nepali Citizenship but are a 100% Nepali by heart. Being a Nepali for me has always meant showing compassion and being courageous. Teach your son these values and hope that he becomes a true Nepali.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a college student. My classmates are the meanest people one can ever imagine to get along with. Even though I don’t speak to them or know their names, they keep making fun of me. Only last month, I sent a friend requested to my classroom’s Facebook group. As soon as I was accepted, I saw the posts. All the posts were either memes on me or hateful stuffs dedicated to me.

First thing you do is get out of that Facebook group. You don’t need to be around negative people and negative remarks. Secondly, I am sure that not all of your classmates are like that. The best thing you can do when around people like those are engage with them and show them that you are affected. That will only give them more fuel to add to the fire and keep going at you. So, ignore them completely as if they don’t exist in your life and even though those comments are mean and hurtful, just ignore. I am not saying that it will be easy but it’s not worth your time and energy to respond to those. However, if the bullying gets to a point where you cannot handle it, make sure you share it to the college counselor or the upper management teachers and let them know what’s happening. I would also request you to share your feelings and what is going on in your life to your close friends or family members because I know it is not easy to face such bullies.

Dear Sadichha,

I work in a night shift. So, when I return home, it’s almost 12 or 1 at night. At that time, there are only taxis and some chiya pasal. And travelling is always scary, mainly in taxis. On one hand, it’s the best job I have ever wished and on the other, I really cannot travel with fear every time. Please suggest me.

You didn’t really say how do you return home from work during that time? Do you take a taxi or walk or have your own vehicle? I would ask you to stay alert and be aware of your surroundings when you are returning home. If you have work colleagues who can accompany you then do that. Travelling together in a group is relatively safer. Also, you could ask your work to arrange for drop offs if possible. I am sure if the night shift staffs get together and sit down with the HR with your concerns they would definitely look into it. You could also have the number of one taxi driver who could pick you up from work and drop you to your home. Like you mentioned you cannot always travel being scared so I would suggest, you find ways where you have friends travelling in group at that time of the night, or arrange for drop offs from work. And be alert of your surroundings.

Dear Sadichha,

I play football at a local club and I really want to pursue my career in football. Our team has even won the local league and I have also awarded the ‘Player of the Tournament’. However, my parents don’t allow me to be a footballer. All my brothers have excelled in their respective fields and they want me to do the same by being either a doctor or an engineer. I am so confused.

I don’t know how old you are, what level you study. But I would have to agree with you parents a little by telling you to finish your studies first. You could still hold a Bachelor’s degree and be a footballer. A master’s degree and still be a footballer if you are really passionate about it. In Nepal, it takes a lot of hard work and some luck to survive as an athlete only. Hence, I would recommend you to complete your studies and use your free time to get better at the sport. Also, you have to take into consideration that since Football is a team sport, it’s not only the effort of one person but the entire team that will fetch results. For now, you and your team mates must all have dreams to become a footballer but reality will slowly set in when their parents also ask the same from them and they will have to think about bills and payments and making money. I am not asking you to let go of your dreams, but asking you to be rather realistic here.