In a period when women were not given proper food, clothes, freedom and time to rest in their husband’s homes, the importance of Teej was paramount because it allowed women to visit their natal homes, get new clothes, good food, take rest and share their sufferings through dance and songs, at least once a year.
This is the social and cultural significance of Teej. However, today the focus of Teej has changed to fasting for the longevity of husbands and worshipping them at the end of the fast. [break]
Republica
According to our religious stories and beliefs, many Hindu gods, including Shiva, always kept their position above women. Although Hindus worship a number of goddesses, women are presented as subservient to men, including in the Dharmashastras and the Manu Smriti. An example of such supremacy is Teej. Being a festival of womenfolk dedicated to goddess Parvati, women are supposed to seek blessing from goddess Parvati for their happy marital life, but Lord Shiva gets higher importance than goddess Parvati, though Parvati is the real hero of Teej.
As per Hindu mythology, goddess Parvati went through rigorous fasting and meditated to obtain Lord Shiva as her husband. Shiva became pleased with her devotion and married her. Apart from being a good wife, Parvati is mother of the universe, known as Amba and Ambika, meaning ‘mother’. Not only that, she was also a symbol of feminine power. She left her parents’ home to find Shiva and broke the tradition of arranged marriages. Her choice to give birth to Ganesh without the involvement of Shiva is another example of her empowerment.
Thus, Teej is traditionally associated with Parvati and her feminine power. However, the modern Teej celebration, mostly by Khas Hindu women, disregards Parvati. It makes women the weak devotees of men, who are worshiped as gods by their wives after a whole day fasting. Many parents still do not welcome daughters who have married a man from a lower-caste. This fails to honor Parvati who married Shiva without caring for caste or race.
Despite the fact that women lag behind in every sector because of a patriarchal system, they blindly worship their husbands in Teej. Some rigid women fast for 24 hours without even drinking water. They put their own health at risk for their husband’s longevity, whether or not they are loved, respected and given a space in their home and society by their husband.
It is time for Nepali women to be intelligent enough to criticize even Lords Ram, Shiva, Krishna, among others, from the perspective of gender. Worshipping men is a shame on any country or society, especially in a country where women have been suffering from men directly or indirectly in everyday life. Be the man our husband, colleague, teacher, security personnel, priest, bureaucrat, leader or normal guy, does he really deserve to be our god? What status do we construct for women if we identify men as god? What message does Teej leave to our future generations and the world?
Some women state that they celebrate Teej to preserve Nepali culture. Actually, intelligent women would rather let a culture that discriminates on the grounds of gender die. All cultures change over time. The modern woman would never emulate Satidevi, who ended her life over her husband’s insult by walking into a pyre. Why, then, continue to worship men on Teej? If we want to preserve Teej, we should change it into a festival of love, which husband and wife celebrate together, sharing love and best wishes.
A big number of women argue that Teej facilitates good relationship between couples. Marx had said something similar about the relationship between laborers and bourgeoisies—the more laborers serve them, the more capital, power are enjoyed by the bourgeoisies. Hindu women need to challenge the kind of love symbolized by Teej, which is a conditional and conservative love.
There might be different reasons behind Hindu women celebrating Teej. But a bitter fact is that men worshiped in Teej are among those who have made thousands of women and girls victims of the armed-conflict (led by men). Men treated as gods in Teej also include persons behind gender and sexual based-violence (SGBV). The patriarchal government, ineffective judiciary and police also consist of men worshiped in Teej. The love and devotion of goddess Parvati to Lord Shiva certainly does not mean the worship of men that harm the nation, and women’s dignity.
In the name of preserving culture, women keep permitting patriarchy to advance. As a result, the male dominant political parties, and social, economical, cultural and religious institutions have been neglecting women’s representation, participation and empowerment. Women’s movements have kicked off in this country against all discriminatory practices, including cultural and religious ones. However, many women practice double standard by protesting patriarchy in public but worshipping their husbands as gods in Teej. Most depressingly, even well known Nepali feminists and women in so-called revolutionary political parties do the same.
On the one hand, we mark 8th March, International Women’s Day, symbolizing the struggles of working class women against capitalism, oppression and discrimination throughout the world. On the other hand, Teej supports capitalism rather than working class women. We Hindu women worship men that play a role of the bourgeois against us. It has been observed that men are encouraged to promote capitalism and patriarchy by women. The more money they earn or powerful position they hold, the more their wives are devoted to them, no matter how corrupt or immoral they are. Undermining the tireless fight of women for their rights and freedom, Teej has turned into a capitalist festival of overjoyed women.
There should be no argument that some husbands are very nice, and qualify to be worshiped. But there should be a common understanding instead that no good husband would like to be worshipped by his wife, or see her as mere follower.
Firstly, men are not our gods, and should not be worshiped just because they are men. Secondly, ‘men’ in this article may not necessarily represent every man, though every man represents the patriarchal system, beliefs and practices he is part of. There are many gentlemen in our country who undoubtedly want to be treated as human beings equal to their wives. As role models, these gentlemen should be encouraged to participate in movements against religious, social and cultural festivals and practices, including Teej, that give a message that one group has higher value over others.
Teej can be welcomed as a festival to commemorate women’s emancipation from discriminatory patriarchal practices that forced them to be subordinate to men, undermined their contribution to family and society, and devalued their dignity and rights. Hindu women, including women activists and leaders, need to understand that fasting for husbands and worshiping them in Teej is a voluntarily act.
To modify Teej, women need no special resolution, treaty, law or policy. The only thing needed is collective commitment against all religious, social and cultural festivals, including Teej, that challenge the principle of gender quality and encourage patriarchy.
The author worked as Human Rights Officer at former OHCHR-Nepal
tanuja41@hotmail.com
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