Caring less about their beautifully embroidered and heavy saris, expensive jewelries, high heels or even the scorching sun, women dance to the tunes of special “Teej” songs until sweat trickles from every pore of their body. But managing these things seems very trivial when one realizes that the women have been dancing with such high spirits on an empty stomach. Whether sung live by a group of women or backed up by commercial songs on loudspeakers, dancing to its tunes seem to keep women under some kind of charm, busying their minds even to remember hunger.
“Women take the opportunity of Teej to have a nice get together and enjoy the day as the way they want to,” says Nimita Pandey, 26, a pharmacist, adding, “For women in my circle, it’s more about a break from daily schedules.” [break]
The festival, mainly celebrated by women, is a three-day affair when married women fast for a whole day for their husbands’ long and prosperous life. Though the fasting during the festival is said to ensure the well being of the family as well as purification from sins, it is basically associated with the women’s effort to attain marital bliss.
According to the Hindu myth, Goddess Parbati fasted and prayed fervently for Lord Shiva to be her husband. Touched by Parbati’s devotion, Lord Shiva complied to marry Parbati and accept her as his companion. Therefore, due to her devotion and fasting, Parbati acquired a groom of her choice, who otherwise was to be wedded to Lord Bishnu.
Though this myth is very popular among Hindus and is the base for the celebration of Teej, the festival, however, is more popular for its cultural and social significance. The arrival of Teej is symbolized by use of red garments and accessories, elaborate makeup and a reason to have fun in the present scenario.
The festival that falls on the third day after the new moon of the month of Shrawan in Bikram Calendar combines lavish feasts as well as rigid fasting. On the night before the day of Teej, women indulge in sumptuous feast known as “Dar Khane”. After having Nepali delicacies like Kheer, Alooko Achar, different varieties of curries, curd and sweets before midnight, the fasting starts until the next morning after Teej, they drink “Misri Kada,” sweetened water, to break the fast.
Following the myth, it is considered that if married women fast during the day of Teej, they can attain the strength to help their husbands out of any problems. In addition, unmarried women can also fast during the festival and such women will be rewarded with a good husband.
“Women were given the responsibility to ask for blessings from Lord Shiva for the prosperous life of their husbands because women possess the determination to complete any arduous task,” says Purushottam Nepal, a Hindu priest.
He also adds that apart from that, worshipping Lord Shiva is also becoming popular because he showers blessings on his devotees more generously that other gods or goddesses.
“If you worship Lord Bishnu, you’ll have to worship for a long time before you’ll be blessed. But it only takes three months of worshipping Lord Shiva and you’ll see the results,” claims the pundit.
During the day of Teej, women have gatherings at residences or they visit Shiva temples and submerge themselves in music and dance. Women dancing in public around the temples are considered very natural during the very day.
“Earlier, there were strict rules for women to avoid eating or drinking during the day of Teej, but that trend has been gradually subsiding,” says Bijaya Dhakal, 35, a schoolteacher. She also scraps the religious beliefs that abstaining from food or drink for a day can bestow anyone’s husband with long life.
“At the times of our mothers and grandmothers, there was the strong belief that eating anything on the very day might bring bad luck. But now, we don’t celebrate it so strictly,” she says.
As more people are getting educated, they choose to have scientific reasoning behind every religious and cultural ritual rather than having blind faith. In a culturally rich society of Nepal, people follow many festivals as they have evolved as a way of life rather than being religiously devoted. Teej also carries such social and cultural significances.
According to Hari Govinda Luitel, a culture expert, Teej has become popular because of its cultural significance, which otherwise would have been obsolete had it only been religiously significant.
“In earlier days when women were bound with household duties and strict rules, Teej was a festival to get liberated from those boundaries,” he says.
He adds that though they had to fast for a whole day, they found solace in the festival as they could go to their mother’s place and exchange their problems with their sisters or childhood friends. Whatever the religious connotations are there for this festival, women were able to utilize it for social interaction, which otherwise were forbidden or unavailable.
Though Luitel agrees that the process of celebrating and perceiving the festival has changed in the present contexts, there are still some educated ones who still promote the conservative side of the festival.
“Some women still boast of not drinking a single drop of water, which is not good at all. Rather they should discourage such ill practices,” he says.
According to him, the practice of eating in a binge before midnight and then fasting the other day is already a big blunder. And to top it off, if women don’t drink water or eat fruits according their health demands, it can have larger consequences in the future.
Dhakal also supports Luitel’s arguments and urges women to look after their health before deciding to fast for Teej. Even Pundit Nepal joins in and says that if one’s body is healthy, one can observe many religious practices in the future.But if unhealthy people fast during Teej, they may lose their chance of getting involved in spiritual devotion in other religious festivals.
But for Luitel, apart from the social significance of enjoyment for women, other activities are purely unscientific and he advises women to avoid them as much as possible.
“How can one believe that fasting can ensure her husband’s long life? Even though many women fast due to cultural significance, it gives the message that they too agree with the false argument,” he says.
Dhakal, on the other hand, says that there should be a middle path between following traditions blindly and negating all of it.
“If we abandon our culture, we’ll have nothing left. We should choose the good rituals and obviously cancel out the conservative ones. But we can modify the symbols and continue celebrating it anyway,” she says.
She also adds that when people visit temples, though they may not entirely believe that the gods will hear their prayers and solve their problems, there is an innate wish for their prayers being answered. “It’s the same with Teej,” she sums up.
Many women argue that Teej – though an enjoyable festival with feasts, gatherings, music and dances – holds a gender bias and exploits women to a certain extent. But women who have been celebrating it claim that the social and cultural perspective of Teej is more important in the present context than its religious background. They take it as a day to forget their pain and busy themselves in conversation, music, dance and a lot of fun.
For him: What’s the fast worth?
As the hype of Teej is growing, the group of people who are questioning the whole principle of the festival is also on the rise. One day of rigid fasting can bring happiness to a married woman’s life and give a long life to her husband has been scanned critically as a bogus theory.
But as the celebration of Teej has been associated with the social aspect more than the religious concept, many women who defy the religious connotations are also in dilemma whether or not to celebrate the festival. In many families, celebrating Teej also establishes a commitment of a woman to her marital life.
“It’s actually very unfair. While women are expected to prove their commitment, there’s no effort from the husband’s side,” says Manoj Pandey, 37, an educational consultant. He adds that though the nature of fasting has loosened its strict streak that was prevalent during his mother’s time, he still has reservations when his wife takes the fast.
“If a woman should fast for her husband’s long life, why doesn’t a man do the same?” asks Pandey. To address this very question, last year Pandey also observed the Teej fast along with his wife.
But culture expert Hari Govinda Luitel does not agree with such practices, either. “Many people may argue that men also should fast along with their wives. But if they believe that the whole principle is wrong, then what’s point of fasting at all?” he asks.
Luitel adds that Nepalis should get over the concept of destiny, fate and luck in the first place. “Someone fasting will never give long life to the other person. The whole principle should be revised,” he says.
But he also agrees that such change in concept progresses gradually. While the principle may sound problematic to educated ones, many women believe that the acknowledgement of their hardship by their male counterparts has already kindled a wave of changes that will gradually replace the rigidity of the festival in the years to come.
The Teej business
“Yo Teejma naya fashion kati khulya chha!” (Fashion trends are hip this Teej)
Komal Oli, the popular Nepali folksinger, just puts it right in her latest Teej single “Jhumi Jhumi” from her album of the same name. The “Queen of Teej,” as put in by her co-singer Girish Khatiwada from the very single, Oli, too, is known to market her songs that are specially produced to capture the Teej market.
“This is my seventh Teej album,” says the singer. From her song “Poila jana pam,” (May I be able to elope), Oli has come a long way. After that first single of hers which was launched just before Teej, which was heavily criticized but was equally popular, Oli has brought out Teej albums every single year for the past seven years.
Though Oli complains about piracy and argues that it has heavily scaled down the sales of her albums, she says that 7,000 copies have already been sold and she hopes for sales of up to 10,000 copies this year. She adds that her music this time is of international taste.
Just like she has mentioned about the variety of fashion trends during the festival in her song, Oli herself has not left an inch to utilize the festival for commercial gain and fame. From “mujra” dance to a combination of house music and rap, she has laid her hands in everything to make her album sellable.
But Oli is nonetheless right about the extravaganza of Teej. With women taking the opportunity of Teej to celebrate it a month before, it is progressing as a larger event than it actually is.
Bijaya Dhakal, a schoolteacher, explains that it started with people inviting their friends and families to a simple lunch or dinner, and have some music, dance and fun along the way. But the celebrations have definitely escalated more than small family gatherings.
Such events are even more often prevalent among Nepalis residing abroad.
Prashamsa Subedee, 27, a software engineer, who returned to Nepal from Sydney, Australia, last year, says that the celebration of Teej is louder and exaggerated abroad than in Nepal.
“Though there is trend of overdoing the Teej celebrations in Nepal too, it is quite different when you are in Nepali communities in a foreign country,” says she and adds that there are even different Nepali community organizations which host parties during Teej and sell tickets to the interested ones.
“From expensive saris and jewelries, women seem to have the urge to outdo the others,” she says. But she also justifies the commercial parties as being the only respite for the Nepali women in foreign lands who otherwise would be submerged in their busy schedules. “There are very little chances of having extra time for cooking at home and inviting friends to dinner. So commercial parties seem to be an easy way out,” she adds.
In Nepal, apart from parties, women take the festival of Teej also as an opportunity to indulge in expensive clothes, shoes, jewelries and other accessories.
Ramita Shrestha, a cosmetic storeowner at Kalimati says that her sales triple during the time of Teej.
“Apart from cosmetics, we also keep bangles, hairstyling threads, clutches and traditional Nepali shoes, and whatever we display, they all get sold out,” she says.
She adds that some customers even have special orders for shoes and bangles, which they say should be unique regardless of the costs. And when they are happy with their purchase, her customers invite her to their parties even though she comes from a community that does not celebrate Teej.
According to Shrestha, the sales of her products are also soaring because women not only buy for themselves but they also purchase them for gifts.
“One person buys at least half a dozen set of a Teej cosmetic pack which includes bangles, bindi, lipstick and other accessories,” she adds.
Subedee, on the other hand, expresses astonishment over the rising trend of gifts exchange. “Earlier, only elders used to gift the younger ones, but now the exchange of gifts is overwhelming,” she says.
Though Teej is a festival to expand social communication, many people agree that it has stepped a little overboard with spendthrift parties and exchange of gifts. For many people, the festival is just a chance when they look forward to meet their close family and friends and catch up on the things they have missed due to busy schedules. But the excitement of women celebrating Teej increases every year and the commercialization also adds to the extravaganza of the festival.
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