But before things could get out of hand, Yamjung, 37, was thoughtful enough to disclose that a 6-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter were fathered by Khadaksingh, 31, and Takpa, 55, respectively. [break]
“Now us two brothers don´t have any problem,” Khadaksingh said.
Similarly, 32-year-old Chhapal Lama of Bargaun thought it better to tell her husbands the ´children truth´. “They were eager to know who actually sired which of their kids. Now that I have revealed the secret they´re very happy,” Chhapal said. The brothers Nurbu Gyalojan Lama, 34, and Yambahadur Lama, 31, were thrilled to learn that two of the daughters were sired by one of them and the remaining two by the other.
The culture of multiple husbands raises eyebrows elsewhere, but not in the Lama community in this remote part of Humla district.
“This is our unique culture,” said Chhiring Lama, 66. According to him, this tradition is based on the belief that a single wife for all the brothers strengthens family unity and prevents division of family assets. “Children in such families get love from everybody,” he said.
It´s not that local women never protested. “I was married off to the eldest brother, and gradually, his four brothers also started showing serious interest in me. Now all of them have become my husbands,” said Gyanjen Lama of Bargaun. “But I always wanted just one husband.”
However, women like Gyanjen, who prefer monogamy over polygamy, still lose out to the social influence of the older generation and also a section of younger which fully supports the tradition. Women have multiple husbands in 42 of the 52 households in Bargaun. In the remaining 10 households, there was only one male.
According to old-timer Dorje Lama, it might take decades for the tradition to wane. “People are happy with the tradtion. Very few complain,” he said.
Youths might be reluctant to challenge the tradition also because of fear of loosing property rights. “Not accepting the eldest brother´s wife might deprive the younger ones of ancestral property,” said Dorje.
“The tradition is still strong,” Chhring states. “It doesn´t violet women´s rights. Compared to other societies our women feel important and empowered.”
According to Chhiring, having more than one husband means the wife can literally dictate to them. “It is up to her whom she wants to send off to work and whom she wants to spend time with at home,” he narrated.
Aagdabu Lama added that women in monogamy relationships try to keep only one husband at home at a time. “She plays tricks to avoid possible conflict between brothers,” he said.
Aagdabu explained that even though the eldest brother enjoys maximum intimacy with the wife in the beginning, his position is gradually taken by the youngest.
As per data at the district development committee, the Lama community constitutes 14 percent of the total district population of 48,000. Over half the women are through to be in polyandrous relationships.
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