“A friend of mine – a non-believer in love—told me that the photo just speaks about a momentarily happiness,” shares Dr. Banira Giri, the lady in the photo. However, Banira and her partner Shankar Giri share a common philosophy in life and love: “Why make life more absurd and serious?” Life is gliding smoothly for them.[break]
“But there have been tussles and conflicts, which I think are necessary in a relationship because this doesn’t make life too serious,” opines Banira, who originally hails from Kuresong in India. Shankar agrees, “It’s natural.”
A resident of Janakpur, Shankar first saw Banira during a debate competition some 50 years ago.
“I was studying I. Sc [Intermediate in Science] in Darjeeling then. And there I saw a young girl who was a strong debater and she left an impression on me,” he recalls. However, Banira had no clue of his presence. And Shankar had to leave for Russia for his further studies.
But then, they were destined to meet. Shankar had recently returned to Nepal after finishing his engineering from Russia while Bainra was invited to Kathmandu to participate in a poetry competition. “I had just done my graduation exams,” says Banira.
In Kathmandu, she was awarded a full scholarship to pursue her post-graduate, which strengthened her reason to remain in the Valley.
“Once when I was in my sister-in-law’s place, I was asked to go through a photo album. There, a tall handsome face with a cigarette in his hand in front of Lenin’s statue (taken in Russia) instantly struck me,” recalls the 60-plus poetess. Candid Banira told her sister-in-law that she would be happy to marry the handsome man whom she later met in a relative’s gathering.
“Through someone, I heard that he was coming to the gathering. So I didn’t miss the opportunity to meet him in person,” recalls interestingly accessorized Banira.
“I offered her a cigarette as a courtesy. In Russia, women smoked. But she declined,” recalls the man. Banira took it as a test.
After a couple of days, she popped up in his thoughts. “Then I realized, she perfectly matched my criteria of a girl whom I wanted to spend my life with,” informs Banira’s handsome man.
For Banira, it was love at first sight.
“And maybe it was a spiritual bonding as well,” opines Banira. “When I was small, my mom used to call me Sati Devi. And coincidently, my birthday also falls on the Akschhya Tritiya, the day when Parvati—the incarnation of Sati Devi –was born. And his name is Shankar, the counterpart of Goddess Parvati.”
Shankar has a different definition of their love.Shankar terms their union as “semi-love.”
“We fell for each other but our marriage was arranged by our parents who happened to be relatives,” informs the retired engineer.
In the month of Falgun in 2023 B.S, the Giris tied the knot. “During my first pregnancy, I took my Master’s examination. My father-in-law encouraged me to study,” says Banira.
Even their professions didn’t play antagonist in their love. “I often had to travel outside the Valley for my work,” recalls Shankar, a former engineer at the Roads Department.
To accompany her husband to the posting sites, Banira frequently took leave. “I took holidays the most,” chuckles Banira and adds, “It also benefited my writing career.” One of her most acclaimed books, Karagar, which is in its sixth edition, was born out of such travels.
Apart from contemporary issues, her love life also has found space in her works. The first Nepali woman to win Sajha Puraskar, Banira has penned poems for her counterpart. “He’s the most honest person I’ve ever met,” she says of Shankar.
“For My Shankar”—reads the fourth page of her poem collection, From the Lake, Love. These days, the couple spends their life gardening together, and looking after their grandchildren.
“I’m also writing,” adds the lady. Lately, the couple is busy exploring the technological world. “I’m computer illiterate,” says Banira. “So I help her in sending emails,” adds Shankar.
“We both have our good and bad sides, but to strengthen the relationship, one has to work on the merits and better the relationship,” concludes Shankar. (SK)
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