A lot of us will not be reaching for the popcorn just yet because the narrative of this story was already known to many of us – not unlike those predictable 'rom-coms' that my missus forces me to sit through. And whilst Munna Bhai was entertaining in terms of comedy, there is nothing even remotely funny about fake doctors in real life.
It's not as if a trip to the hospital isn't enough to frighten the life out of both you and your bank account, we now have to deal with the added dangers of potentially being treated by quacks. I've had a surgery recently and I was in so much pain prior to it that I was willing to be treated by the first doctor I saw, which in hindsight would have been a monumental mistake. It wasn't really his area of expertise (to put it nicely) but a few reassuring words had me convinced and I would have had taken the plunge if not for my wife who for all her 'rom-com' shortcomings insisted on verification and references for my surgery. Her insistence and the advice from my brothers and sisters (all real doctors) meant that everything went swimmingly well in the end.
You might be wondering how these impostors get away with 'practicing' medicine for so long. I mean it is one thing to fib about Excel or communication skills on your resume but requires an altogether different level of diabolical cunning and audacity to be a pretend doctor. It's the nature of the profession that we willingly submit to their expertise and this blind trust makes it easy for even an educated person like me to fall prey to a dubious diagnosis. Therefore it isn't all that surprising that these quacks base their operations in the hinterland with its demographic makeup and lack of facilities and target vulnerable people without the foresight, the choice or the finances to seek out second or third opinions.
The problem of fake certificates also is nothing new no matter how loudly or frequently the police and the papers tell you that they've unearthed something new. It's been there for ages and, dare I say it, the practice of buying fake degrees is older than most institutions in Nepal. A market exists for all disciplines but is arguably more pronounced for technical fields partly because of the significantly greater academic effort required in order make the cut and also the potential opportunity for income.
The latter is perhaps the greatest contributing cause for – pun intended – all the ills that plague our medical sector. There was a time when the nobility of the profession mattered just as much as the income but the spirit of the Hippocratic Oath is in stark contrast to the aims of 21st century medical practices. We have all heard of 'khade babas', our venal judiciary, and witnessed with incredulity the efforts of our government to circumvent all laws and logic to establish their own medical college. It isn't for nothing that Dr KC has taken up arms against this plague and its carriers.
It also doesn't help the medical fraternity's cause that the umbrella body, the Nepal Medical Council doesn't have the inclination or the structural set up to seriously look after problems of this nature. The check for competence is restricted largely to a code of conduct and the NMC licensing exams which – if practicing doctors are to be believed – can be scaled by even the most mediocre students with a little timely study. A lot of effort is expended (especially during elections) in canvassing support from the establishment and other professionals for myriad posts within the NMC. There is a lot of money floating about – one only has to attend a party thrown by numerous medical representatives – yet so little will for reform and institutional change.
While we continue to live with the alarming possibility of being treated by half qualified slackers, our bureaucrats continue to milk the system for health benefits and our politicians jet off to foreign shores to treat even the most minor ailments with many using our tax contributions just to keep themselves out of their graves. Thakuri is right. It is quite the show but not half as entertaining as Munna Bhai and certainly not with the happy ending. The only similarity that this story has with its celluloid version is that the inevitable sequel is coming soon. At a hospital near you.
gunjan.u@gmail.com
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