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When it’s right, it’s right

By No Author
patrikaghimire@gmail.com

In almost utmost unison, the world believes that opposite attracts but there is a small portion of the world that variates. This portion believes that same sex can attract too. Though same sex relationships have always been there, they have been forced to lie hidden because of the restrictions imposed by the society in the name of religion or morality or other. Too much for endurance, people who believe in same sex relationships have started raising voices; Rights of LGBTQ people and gay marriage have become a hot topic for discussion in many countries of the world and Nepal is one of them. Though Nepal has often displayed very liberal views on protecting the rights of LGBTQ people and gay marriage, things are yet to materialize and the war is still on.


Being so much of heard and gossiped about gay marriage, it is not alien to the new generation of Nepal though more than on serious note they take it humorously and joke about it. The old generation, well you can guess, is ignorant and indifferent towards gay issues. Nepal is a country where still marriage is not at all a private affair. Majority of parents in Nepal still believe that they are the deciders of their children’s fate. Since they are the creators of their children, the children owe them the critical decisions of their lives-one of them being marriage. Where many straight ones still have to fight for marrying their choices, it is certainly going to be tough for the gay people to even come out and declare their feelings let alone get married. There are many hurdles to be conquered by the homosexual people like admitting to their own feelings, convincing the shocked family, gaining acceptance from the society and so on. So, the one thing can help LGBTQ people to enjoy their rights is legalization of the same sex marriage i.e. inclusion of gay marriage in the laws. But more importantly, what is needed to be done is to change the people’s perceptions towards homosexuality.


Yes, legalization would help gay marriage gain some validity in the eyes of society and might too help clearing out peoples misconceptions to some extent but can’t completely change the way people perceive gay marriage (negatively). A radical change in people’s perceptions is needed to finally ensure LGBTQ people’s rights. Opponents of same-sex marriage argue that gay marriage is immoral and against the nature, gay couples cannot conceive and blah, blah. What is the logic behind considering attraction towards same sex as unnatural and towards opposite sex as natural? Who set the rules that gay marriage is immoral and that straight one is moral? Just because gay marriage contradicts from what has been practiced and believed from the very start and for so long, it doesn’t become immoral and unnatural. Marriage doesn’t necessarily require a male and female .For marriage is all about being with the person whom you love and the one you can spend your rest of the life with. There are many cases of straight marriage failures which prove that marriage doesn’t work with male and female organs but what is needed is good understanding between the partners. And who understands a woman better than another woman and a man better than another man. Whether gay or straight, the sole driving force for marriage should be true love-the will to spend rest of your life with that one person not religion, law, culture or any other. If a marriage lacks love and understanding then religion, law, or morality can’t make it work; it fails whatsoever.


 True it is that gay couples cannot conceive or reproduce. But marriage cannot be taken as a license for procreation. Also there are many sterile straight couples and the ones who choose to not produce children .Moreover, aren’t there enough orphans and street children for the gay couples to adopt? Aren’t there other means of procreation as invented by science and technology? Doesn’t the world have already more than enough population? Gay marriage serves more like a natural means of controlling population. Don’t get me wrong here. I don’t mean to imply that the whole world should go gay to control population growth. Also gay marriage isn’t epidemic -if some people opt for gay marriage doesn’t mean it would spread and the whole world curtails the procreation. A child needs both a father and a mother. Says who??? More than a father and a mother what a child requires is caring and responsible parents and the right kind of upbringing.  There are many cases of children, with a father and a mother, deprived of true love and gone rotten eggs.


There can be a continuous debate for and against gay marriage but what is to be understood is that since straight or gay both are humans, they should get to enjoy equal rights. If straight people are allowed to marry their choices then gay people should be allowed too. Protection of everyone’s freedom and rights is an important indicator of development. We try to imitate, even adverse, things of developed countries then why not this worthy one? Gay marriage has been made lawful in some of the developed countries and others are in the process.


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‘Live and let live’ goes an old adage which means that one should accept other people’s opinions and behavior even though they are different from your own.  You are straight doesn’t mean you have the right to judge, tag names, and humor the LGBTQ people for their differing opinions and choices. If a man finds solace in another man’s arms then its ok, let him be. If a woman desires to spend rest of her life with another woman then let her be. There is no wrong in that. Or do we still believe in authoritarian society where LGBTQ people have to suppress their feelings and live a shallow life full of compromises with their true feelings and happiness at stake. Surely, we don’t want such life for ourselves then why force them??


Gay marriage is driven by love towards same sex. Love being a natural feeling can neither be forced nor can it be denied; it just has to be embraced all along. Little thing LGBTQ people ask for is space and respect-respect for their feelings and space for their unconventional choices in the society, in the law, and moreover in people’s heart. Marriage is completely a private affair may it be straight or gay. Gay marriage is likely to face objections initially. However, the scenario can change in future when gay marriage receives its proper space not only in constitution but in society and people’s heart, not only in paper but in practice as well.


Let’s take an oath that we all will support and raise voice for ensuring LGBTQ people’s right-one of the right being the freedom to decide whom they want to get married to. You don’t essentially have to be a gay or a lesbian or a bisexual or a transgender to fight for LGBTQ people’s rights. You just have to think like a human and act like a human. There is no such thing as ‘right time’ to stand for the right cause-when it’s right, its right. If you wait, the right time will never approach; you have to make the time right. It’s always now or never; if it is not now then will be ever. Let’s lend a hand and pull the LGBTQ people out of their shell-the shell of hesitation and fear. Let’s fight for ensuring LGBTQ people’s rights and making gay marriage a lawful one, shall we???Will you?????



In almost utmost unison, the world believes that opposite attracts but there is a small portion of the world that variates. This portion believes that same sex can attract too. Though same sex relationships have always been there, they have been forced to lie hidden because of the restrictions imposed by the society in the name of religion or morality or other. Too much for endurance, people who believe in same sex relationships have started raising voices; Rights of LGBTQ people and gay marriage have become a hot topic for discussion in many countries of the world and Nepal is one of them. Though Nepal has often displayed very liberal views on protecting the rights of LGBTQ people and gay marriage, things are yet to materialize and the war is still on.


Being so much of heard and gossiped about gay marriage, it is not alien to the new generation of Nepal though more than on serious note they take it humorously and joke about it. The old generation, well you can guess, is ignorant and indifferent towards gay issues. Nepal is a country where still marriage is not at all a private affair. Majority of parents in Nepal still believe that they are the deciders of their children’s fate. Since they are the creators of their children, the children owe them the critical decisions of their lives-one of them being marriage. Where many straight ones still have to fight for marrying their choices, it is certainly going to be tough for the gay people to even come out and declare their feelings let alone get married. There are many hurdles to be conquered by the homosexual people like admitting to their own feelings, convincing the shocked family, gaining acceptance from the society and so on. So, the one thing can help LGBTQ people to enjoy their rights is legalization of the same sex marriage i.e. inclusion of gay marriage in the laws. But more importantly, what is needed to be done is to change the people’s perceptions towards homosexuality.


Yes, legalization would help gay marriage gain some validity in the eyes of society and might too help clearing out peoples misconceptions to some extent but can’t completely change the way people perceive gay marriage (negatively). A radical change in people’s perceptions is needed to finally ensure LGBTQ people’s rights. Opponents of same-sex marriage argue that gay marriage is immoral and against the nature, gay couples cannot conceive and blah, blah. What is the logic behind considering attraction towards same sex as unnatural and towards opposite sex as natural? Who set the rules that gay marriage is immoral and that straight one is moral? Just because gay marriage contradicts from what has been practiced and believed from the very start and for so long, it doesn’t become immoral and unnatural. Marriage doesn’t necessarily require a male and female .For marriage is all about being with the person whom you love and the one you can spend your rest of the life with. There are many cases of straight marriage failures which prove that marriage doesn’t work with male and female organs but what is needed is good understanding between the partners. And who understands a woman better than another woman and a man better than another man. Whether gay or straight, the sole driving force for marriage should be true love-the will to spend rest of your life with that one person not religion, law, culture or any other. If a marriage lacks love and understanding then religion, law, or morality can’t make it work; it fails whatsoever.


 True it is that gay couples cannot conceive or reproduce. But marriage cannot be taken as a license for procreation. Also there are many sterile straight couples and the ones who choose to not produce children .Moreover, aren’t there enough orphans and street children for the gay couples to adopt? Aren’t there other means of procreation as invented by science and technology? Doesn’t the world have already more than enough population? Gay marriage serves more like a natural means of controlling population. Don’t get me wrong here. I don’t mean to imply that the whole world should go gay to control population growth. Also gay marriage isn’t epidemic -if some people opt for gay marriage doesn’t mean it would spread and the whole world curtails the procreation. A child needs both a father and a mother. Says who??? More than a father and a mother what a child requires is caring and responsible parents and the right kind of upbringing.  There are many cases of children, with a father and a mother, deprived of true love and gone rotten eggs.


There can be a continuous debate for and against gay marriage but what is to be understood is that since straight or gay both are humans, they should get to enjoy equal rights. If straight people are allowed to marry their choices then gay people should be allowed too. Protection of everyone’s freedom and rights is an important indicator of development. We try to imitate, even adverse, things of developed countries then why not this worthy one? Gay marriage has been made lawful in some of the developed countries and others are in the process.


‘Live and let live’ goes an old adage which means that one should accept other people’s opinions and behavior even though they are different from your own.  You are straight doesn’t mean you have the right to judge, tag names, and humor the LGBTQ people for their differing opinions and choices. If a man finds solace in another man’s arms then its ok, let him be. If a woman desires to spend rest of her life with another woman then let her be. There is no wrong in that. Or do we still believe in authoritarian society where LGBTQ people have to suppress their feelings and live a shallow life full of compromises with their true feelings and happiness at stake. Surely, we don’t want such life for ourselves then why force them??


Gay marriage is driven by love towards same sex. Love being a natural feeling can neither be forced nor can it be denied; it just has to be embraced all along. Little thing LGBTQ people ask for is space and respect-respect for their feelings and space for their unconventional choices in the society, in the law, and moreover in people’s heart. Marriage is completely a private affair may it be straight or gay. Gay marriage is likely to face objections initially. However, the scenario can change in future when gay marriage receives its proper space not only in constitution but in society and people’s heart, not only in paper but in practice as well.


Let’s take an oath that we all will support and raise voice for ensuring LGBTQ people’s right-one of the right being the freedom to decide whom they want to get married to. You don’t essentially have to be a gay or a lesbian or a bisexual or a transgender to fight for LGBTQ people’s rights. You just have to think like a human and act like a human. There is no such thing as ‘right time’ to stand for the right cause-when it’s right, its right. If you wait, the right time will never approach; you have to make the time right. It’s always now or never; if it is not now then will be ever. Let’s lend a hand and pull the LGBTQ people out of their shell-the shell of hesitation and fear. Let’s fight for ensuring LGBTQ people’s rights and making gay marriage a lawful one, shall we???Will you?????


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