I like this girl a lot and I’ve even told her about my feelings for her. But she says she is not interested to be in a relationship with me. The problem here is that her actions are totally the opposite. We hang out together all the time and she doesn’t have any problems holding hands with me. My friends say we act like a couple when we are together. But she has told me clearly that she will never be with me. I’m totally confused about what to do. I really like her and want to be with her. Should I just continue like this?
Nabin
When a girl says “no”, most of the time, she does mean no. But maybe it’s important to know what she’s saying no to. She isn’t saying that you aren’t a good person. She isn’t saying that she doesn’t like you as a person. She may not be saying that she would never ever consider you as a partner in the future. All she probably is saying is that “no”, you don’t match up with the image of the man she dreamed about in her early teenage years. There’s a chance that her imagination is so farfetched that it’s impossible for someone like that to exist. But there’s a chance that she’s very realistic and clear about what she wants. Regardless, if she says she’s not interested in a relationship with you, then that’s the truth of the moment. Her action demonstrates how much she values you, but her words draw a clear line as to how far she is going to allow the relationship between you and her to go ahead. The risk of pushing the boundaries too far is that you could eventually lose her friendship. You have no control over people, their emotions, actions, or decisions. You probably have no control over your own emotions either. If you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with someone. There’s nothing you can do about the love you feel. If it’s painful to be in a relationship that doesn’t seem to take you close to your dreams and hope, you may as well choose to leave. If you wish, you can open the doors of the heart and decide to wait with hope that she might feel what you feel for her. If you can, you might decide to allow yourself to love her and respect her decision and the boundaries that she has set around herself. But regardless of whether you stay or leave, hope or give up hope, the thing about love is that, if you love someone, loving is all you can do.
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