But, on a more less-than-fantastic-day, I consider myself trapped - in a land of inconsiderate, hierarchy-obsessed countrymen guilty of nepotism through and through.
In Nepal, you can mess with the wrong crowd and call your pyaro policeman-cum-mama to lend you his boys on duty for an afternoon so that you can proceed to thrash your arch nemesis and throw them in prison for good measure. Having aaafno manchhe in the police helps.
In Nepal, you can be escorted through a crowded waiting room at the doctor´s because the doctor is your brother’s best mate from boarding school, and both of you educated fellows feel no discomfort in leaving behind the patient patients in the waiting hall. Having aaafno manchhe in the hospital helps.
In Nepal, your child can get that coveted position in a fancy organization or even into the "right" school – regardless of what the profile of other candidates looked like in comparison - because you and the director met at some party and have since remained friends. It helps to have aaafno manchhe in such institutions.
The ‘favor bank’ exists elsewhere too and so does networking and maintaining the correct connections, so it’s not exclusive to Nepal, but it does occur at an alarming and distinctly defining rate here. As such, I have to marvel as I mull over this culture of permitting the absence and presence of aafno manchhe to tackle any ordeal – big or small. Knowing the “right people” has never been wrong, but that does not mean it has not been wronged.
"Listen, I am a good friend of your father´s", the phone call began. "I know he is out of the country, but would you tell him that my nephew is applying for a position.”
“Okay, I’ll email him so he knows,” I offered.
“My house is right next door to his in the village," he emphasized. Unsure as to the point of that comment, I offered him the obvious, “Okay, if your nephew has applied, the selection committee will go over it.” There was a pause, "Yes, but I was calling because maybe your father could say something."
Promptly, though quite unintentionally, I forgot to email my father for him to put in his two bits as had been promised, though I hardly regretted that. My father was not one to squeeze a friend or family in anywhere and he had too much on his mind to deal with the aafno manchhe factor that we both detest anyway.
Not using our connections hurt us individually in the short run, using our connections hurt the system collectively – in the short and long run.
And yet, as I sit on the tempo headed to a meeting I was invited to because a person I work for connected me to an office he works with, I think whether I deserved the invite or not – were such connections and networking credible or were these simply a different flavor of the same nepotism?
Is it not entirely different when friends and families are ushered in past lines, paper works and protocol simply because they are friends and families?
It goes without saying we live in a country where inefficiency seems to be the name of the game. So, if waiting in a room that is overcrowded and unorganized is on anyone’s mind, an aafno manchhe entering the room is always appreciated. If the thugs that line Thamel tempt young boys into petty crimes then calling upon the police mama also makes sense. And if your not calling your director friend to slide in your child past the golden gate does not mean another is not doing the same, then picking up that phone is also understandable.
When everyone else is relying on aafno manchhe, then how can we refrain from doing the same? Doing the same would mean being relegated to the space of those without connections, those without uncles in big offices and aunts in admissions teams. And that would mean sitting, yawning, scratching and a whole lot of twiddling our thumbs. Not using our connections hurt us individually in the short run, using our connections hurt the system collectively – in the short and long run.
When each of us is counting on calling our aafno manchhe, our people are further unable to work independently as they ought to. With each of us requesting a small favor more are unfairly shoved to the back and even more will have to reach for their own aafno manchhes.
The vicious circle can only be halted if we decide to be civil – to not use people in places for our selfish means and in the process, inconvenience the collective, if we decide to be dignified – to not breeze by procedures that are asking for a just process, if we decide to respect ourselves and our fellow citizens – to not barge through, but to wait as everyone else does so that everyone has a fair shot at receiving the services on offer.
Moral hazard is hazardous, hence, the obvious choice of word to describe the effect. If we are to have a shot at stopping the inefficient, unjust and plain ridiculous way of getting anything done – we each have to stop counting on aafno manchhe.
I’ll be trying, hope you will join me.
sradda.thapa@gmail.com
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