GONE are the times Hindu marriages took up a whole week, or even a couple of days. These days, the whole process—everything from Swayambhar to Bihe Bhoj—can be completed in a single day, the long and arduous rituals of the yore making way for short programs that fit neatly into tight schedules of busy cosmopolitan life. Purists are aghast at what they see as another assault of westernization and modernization in this once-hallowed Hindu ritual. How can the sanctity of a union that is supposed to last a lifetime be preserved, they question, if the very start of the union is a make-do arrangement? Along with long hours of marriage ceremony, also gone are search for ‘propitious days’ for the union. These days, the date of marriage depends more on the convenience of the bridge and groom parties, than on the recommendations of ancient scriptures. Another troubling development for the purists is the precipitous rise in cases of court marriages in urban Nepal. Last fiscal year, an unprecedented 950 couples registered for court marriage with the District Administration Office, Kathmandu.
With the vast social changes ushered in by the 2006 revolution, some of these changes were inevitable, and most of them, in our reckoning, have been for the good. First, short and relatively cheaper marriage ceremonies have lessened the financial burden on the poor, by removing the pressure to keep up with the Joneses. Another welcome development has been the growing trend among the youth to donate the money that would otherwise have gone into elaborate wedding for various social causes. Court marriages have also helped remove the stigma that is still attached to inter-caste marriage in our society by giving it a stamp of legal approval. On the other side of the equation, many have linked the disproportionate rise in divorce cases in recent times to reduction in the sanctity of marriage, which they believe is reflected in the growing trend of ‘convenient’ marriages. Kathmandu District Court, for instance, has received 1,745 divorce cases this year, more than double the number a year earlier.
But the increase in divorce rate is not necessarily a bad thing. One of the big achievements of the historic 2006 changes has been the narrowing down of gender disparities in all sections of the society. Women have more say over their bodies and greater financial independence now than at any other time in the country’s history, which makes it easier for them to exit difficult and often abusive marriages. Whether or not some people like the groundbreaking social changes of late, they have to live with the fact that these changes are here to stay. Yes, these changes are likely to present the Nepali society with as many opportunities as challenges; one of the big challenges being managing the greater social and economic implications of a greater divorce rate and breakdown of traditional families. What is undeniable is that as the Nepali society goes farther down the road of modernization and connectivity with the rest of the world, the institution of marriage will be shaped in all kinds of now unimaginable ways.
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