“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
If you are here to read less an article and more a scribbled note, then thank you and welcome to the world of an addlepated head.
Somebody asked me not long ago – do you have a passion in what you’re majoring in? I replied, “I don’t know.” That person then gave me a piteous look and tried to enlighten me that I was wasting four years of my life. It feels ridiculous to listen carefully to something that you are well aware of and do not actually care about.
Growing up I realized I had interests in everything that surrounds me. And growing up even older, I realized that I could not give a hundred percent to anything that I do. Having known this gave me a discontent for some time. However, with time, I started enjoying every fluctuating interest of mine to the fullest.
I bought a guitar for myself thinking I would one day have my own gig set up in some café of Kathmandu. I tried some months learning the chords and became proud of myself being able to play Beatles’ Hey Jude. And somebody said it so correct – ‘Want’ is the frame of mind which deceives us. Now that I have what I had been eagerly wanting for years, my guitar literally rests in peace in my room and none bothers to wake her up.
I bought sketch book and painting colors thinking I would have my own gallery someday. And soon after when I had my wall pasted with the doodle arts, I lost my will to draw even a line. Back in my high school days, those t-scale carrying students getting out of Thapathali Campus gate lured me to join engineering.
Besides, the para (manner) of engineering students in society was, and still is, way cooler and somehow, envious. I wouldn’t mind saying that engineering was not my passion; neither would it be wrong to say that I came here out of desire. A desire to taste the color of country’s reputed and highly appraised course; a desire to get frustrated over those piles of theories, derivations and formulas; a desire to know how the machines work. Just a desire to be happy being a part of this crazy ride.
‘Engineering students know everything except engineering’ – must have heard this statement a hundred times and felt a kind of relief to have known that you are not the only one. Well, now that my ship is about to reach the dock, I wish to embark on a new voyage. I have always been attracted toward literature. Maybe, someday I’ll be able to write a book that could turn into the bestseller or maybe not – I don’t actually care about what’s at the end of the tunnel as long as I’m enjoying this journey.
We all have come a long way – from wanting to achieve all the noble pursuits to absolutely nothing but to be a happy soul. So, this piece is especially to those addlepated heads like me out there who are wandering along the way of searching what they actually want. Being confused doesn’t mean you’re lost. Maybe it would be better if we try, for once, to make life a wholesome by transcending the obligations of being the best. The thing is – we are not born to be the best at something; we are born to try everything as long as it is making us happy.
Human desires are evolving and it’s the evolving desires that take us to explore every nook and corner of this world. 10 years down the line, we may not find ourselves in the position where we’re expecting to be. Or maybe we will – with the success in our professional life. What more important is – will we be happy? There is no guarantee of being happy in spite of your success. All we are bound to and free to do is – live the moment. And it’s vain to live the moment thinking about what’s forthcoming. So, take a chill pill and enjoy this read, alright?