For as long as I can remember, I have had a particular dislike for the manufactured occasion that is Valentine’s Day and the way it is celebrated or rather, the way we are expected to celebrate it. I wasn’t particularly fond of this day through all the relationships of my younger days and was at best indifferent to it on the occasions that I was single. Being single at least meant that, on that particular day, you could sit and watch the world pass by in a red blur, smug in the knowledge that nothing is expected of you.  

That in essence is the reason why this whole Valentine’s Day circus gets my goat. On this day, more than others (and there are many more ‘labelled’ days) for the attached amongst us there are the myriad implied expectations heaped upon us, most of which are driven by commercial interests.

Now that in itself is nothing new because festivals – and I used this term loosely– all over the world have been hijacked by commerce to such an extent that the message often gets lost among all the consumerism. In spite of all this, there is something especially annoying about the cloying nature of the celebrations on this day and the herd mentality that we seem to embrace all too readily when it comes to ‘celebrating love’. 

As if the day wasn’t annoying enough on its own, the celebrations (if you can call it that) are made even worse by the ludicrous and cringe-inducing build up to V-day. Apparently, and I only found out this year, there’s a hug day, a chocolate day, a kiss day etc. in the build up to this red frenzy. Blurrrgh! Please give me a moment so I can grab a bucket to throw up in.

It’s ludicrous how it’s marketed to feel like a crescendo, culminating in an outpouring of love – through overpriced chocolates and flowers on V-day. A sort of mini Dashain, except it’s all made up to enrich other folks. It’s no wonder that many people believe this occasion is only for gullible kids.

You see them running around with their flowers and chocolates and can’t help but feel a little sorry for them caught up in all this undue pressure.  

I’ve always resisted – with no small amount of pride – the pressure to buy, at exorbitant rates those expensive roses, cakes, chocolates and just about every sugar-coated commodity. I’ve been obstinate and celebrated it on the 15th or the weekend after or on just about any other date except the 14th.  I’ve been lucky in the sense that my supposed ‘Valentines’ have been indifferent to this whole circus because if they hadn’t, I might have been singing an altogether different tune. 

While I readily accept the charge of being unromantic – I tend to avoid rom coms like the plague – it isn’t just Valentine’s day that seems superficial but all the other ‘days’ that are labelled to say we should do this and that for someone or the other. Sometime it’s Mothers Day, Father’s Day, Women’s Day and what not. Usually the subject of our affection for the so-called day is deserving of better treatment not just for a day but all year round which the majority of us might be completely indifferent to. Instead of going overboard on the one day how about using a bit of sense all year round. Think about doing the dishes sometimes? Helping out around the house? Working hard not to be an all-round pain in the bottom? All of the above might just be appreciated more than a box of chocolates and sugar coated pretensions.

Of course, you might be thinking that with so much negativity going around in the world these days, ‘scrooges’ like me should just lighten up. Yes, we probably should because there are folks who simply use these days as a celebration – just to go that extra mile for their loved ones – to make them feel better as opposed to following some herd. 

But why should someone else (read big businesses with commercial intentions) get to earmark that special day for you? And why should it have to cost you an arm and a leg and maybe a kidney to show your affection? These manufactured occasions inevitably take you in a certain direction, incorporating certain ‘rules of thumb’ designed to make you part with your money. You should spend ‘roughly’ about two months’ salary on a diamond ring, buy roses on Valentine’s day, chocolates too, and things like that. You never hear anyone advocate for a walk in the park with your mum, cook your wife a nice meal or things that might not necessarily cost you a lot of money. It’s true that some of the best experiences in life are free. Just don’t expect Valentine’s Day to be one of them. 

The writer loves traveling, writing, and good food when he is afforded an escape from the rat race. He can be contacted at gunjan.u@gmail.com

 
• valentine’s day
 
• vacuous
 
• single