Dear Sadichha,

I am a 19-year-old girl from Hetauda. I moved to Kathmandu a year ago for my higher studies. Since then I am living with my relatives. However, the relatives are behaving rude. I mistakenly said this to my parents and now they are upset. My father won’t let me stay with any other unknown person here and he is asking me to return home. Meanwhile, I am planning to complete my study and work here. I will try to convince him. But, if he is not willing to let me stay here, what do I do?

In life, everything is not perfect. If your relatives are being a bit rude, then you will just have to deal with it for the sake of your degree. Not everyone will take care of us like our parents do. Learn to let go of certain things and learn to filter out a few things you mention to your parents. Because you wouldn’t want to trouble them with things you can handle on your own. However, if your relatives start being very rude to you, then you should talk to them or have your parents talk to them. They might also be going through some problems. Until then you can try to communicate with them and find out why they are doing so. Don’t forget to check if you can help them in any ways. Tell your dad not to worry and that you are doing well and can handle petty issues on your own. I am sure he wouldn’t want you to stop studying and then return home leaving everything that you have so far worked hard for.

Dear Sadichha,

I am 28. I am a female. I currently work in an organization. I enjoy my work but I am compelled to seek another job as the organization is not considerate toward the staffs. The organization has not initiated any formal process to let me know about my contract as such. The trend is that many organizations ask for references from one or the other person before getting recruited to a job. This is quite unfair for people who are capable enough to take on every challenge at work, isn’t it?

I personally feel like the organizations ask for reference in order to get an idea of how you are as an employee. There are many organizations that do not need referrals as well. Don’t be frustrated, think this through and then decide what you further want to do. At 28, I feel you should be in a job where you see personal and professional growth. If you are not satisfied with one particular thing about your office, then you talk to the HR department. There will always be a process and a system in place in many organizations. You cannot be upset because there are systems in place and forms to be filled. However, if it’s something more than that, you can always re-evaluate your decision.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a 24-year-old guy studying Anthropology in India. I am about to complete my degree here. My parents expect me to come back home and work. But I am planning to apply for US as it would be better for my career growth. I know they would allow me to do whatever fits my choice. I also hope to come back as my girlfriend is working in Nepal. However, I fear whether opting to go abroad is the right step to take, as this could affect my years of relationship.

You need to get your priorities straight. Is it career or relationship? Long distance relationship will be challenging. Having said that, there is nothing that can’t be done. People have been in a long-distance relationship for years and yet are so much in love. Sometimes even more than people who see each other every day. So, do not let the fear of impacting relationship make you not go after your dream. If your girlfriend is supportive and believes in the relationship as much as you do, the two of you will be able to work it out. I suggest you come back, meet your parents, talk to your girlfriend and then decide on what way to take further.

Dear Sadichha,

I am 18-year-old guy studying Hotel Management in Kathmandu and I am passionate about music. We have formed a band but I can’t spare time and join them and perform. My father does not like music and he is quite vocal about it. He wants me to take exams for government jobs which I don’t think will work out in my case. My plan is to earn on my own and join a music school. This will take some years from now and I feel quite impatient. Is there any way I can convince him?

Let me be honest with you here, at 18 you will feel like you will succeed in life no matter what. However, life isn’t always perfect and doesn’t go the way you want it all the time. I can understand where you father is coming from, he wants you to have a secured future by applying for government jobs. Life is not always about security, it’s about happiness too. And from what you’ve written to me, it seems like music gives you that happiness. However, life is also about creating a balance. So, I suggest you complete your HM degree first and start working after you are done. Also, while you are studying you can simultaneously get enrolled in a music academy and learn music. By the time you have the degree and the music lessons you can decide for yourself on what do you want to pursue further.

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