I’ve known this guy since college and I have a crush on him. I’m not sure whether he likes me, but all our friends always try to put us together. We’ve graduated and we meet at times, but only amongst friends. Though I still like him, I’m too shy to confess my feelings for him. Our friends think he likes me too, he hasn’t said anything to me even after all this time. What should I do to move this forward?
– Rita
[Smiles] Before even thinking about moving forward, maybe you should pause for a while and really enjoy the bliss of this very moment – butterflies in your heart, the smiles without reasons, and the joy of finding someone so close to your heart and desires. This moment, this very moment that you’rein is precious in itself – not because of what he feels for you but because of what you feel for him. I know it’s human, to want to be loved back by the one you love.
But trust me – our happiness depends on our ability to love someone rather than being loved back. Having said that, I think the way forward might be to love and to stay in love. Forget about what he feels for you, what he says or doesn’t say to you. If your heart wants to be closer to him, then get to know him more and spend more time together. The rest of your journey into the love lane will unfold itself.
Dear Swastika,
I’m a class 12 student and I’m involved in a lot of things at school. I’m a member of my college club, I play basketball for my school team and I also have this pressure to study hard for every exam. Sometimes, I feel very rushed and tired because of all these activities that I’m doing. Since I want to go abroad for my undergrad, I also have to search for good colleges. I don’t want to stop doing any of the things I’m involved with but it does get too hectic at times. Do you think if it will feel easier if I learn to manage my time properly?
– Arjun
I don’t know if time can be managed. I don’t know if managing time is what you need. I think what you need to manage here is your own expectations from yourself. I know that we live in an era where material success and achievement is valued and that pressure us to believe that we need to do many different things or achieve lot of things in life. As a result, we are over-exhausting ourselves by doing things that we think we “have to” do instead of doing what we “love to.” There’s a big difference between playing basketball because you’re absolutely in love with this sport versus playing because you have to. Do things you enjoy and do it with your whole heart. Give your 100% to things you love 100% and you will find 100% success – in every sense of the term.
Dear Swastika,
It’s been some months since I’ve been thinking of learning new things, like a foreign language, driving, baking, etc. However, these things just remain daydreams because I feel lazy to step out of the house. I need some inspiration to come out of my daily routine. Please help.
– Lazy girl
Daydreaming is also sometimes a defense mechanism. We daydream because we’re not at peace with the reality that we live in. Thus, when life becomes boring or intolerable, a little escape from reality is very therapeutic. Your desire to learn new things may be rooted in your inner sense of feeling inadequate or feeling that you aren’t good enough. So right now, if you’re daydreaming, then have fun in the dreamland. Don’t judge yourself or your feelings. Allow yourself to go through the feelings that you’re going through now, allow yourself the time you need to be lazy and daydream, and allow yourself to heal. Once you accept things as they are, you’ll spring back to life with the power to inspire and motivate yourself.
Dear Swastika,
My high school best friend and I used to be really close until she left to study in the US. Of course, we still keep in touch. But when we write to each other, it’s usually brief and to the point. I want for us to be close the way we were but how can I make this happen?
- Pritha
Life was at its best when I was 21. I really want to 21 again. But I can’t. I never will be. The point is: Life is ever changing. I’m sure you shared a very beautiful relationship with your friend and had many precious memories and moments. No one can steal that away from you – you’ll always be able to look back and cherish those moments. But you can’t make the past your present or your future. We all have to move on. I have to give the 33rd year of my life a chance to be happy and exciting in its own way. You’ll have to give chance to other people in your life to become good friends and share similar moments of joy and happiness.
Related story
Unilever Nepal announces next step in the evolution of skin car...
