The crux of my anger

Published On: May 4, 2018 08:10 AM NPT By: Aditi Sharma

Donald Trump and his shenanigans, the hike in the price of petrol, once again; the maid showing up an hour late to work and being unapologetic about it; my dog peeing on the carpet; the layer of dust on the study table barely an hour after I cleaned it; someone parking right in front of my main door and thus locking me in; bikes splashing dirt on my freshly washed and ironed shirt; people spitting out of their car windows; my husband putting his dirty feet up on the table; people calling after work hours with work related queries, – there’s a lot that makes me angry. While talking to friends and colleagues, I was glad to find out that I wasn’t the only one. Here, I take the liberty to share some of their stories on what makes them angry hoping you can relate to someone and find comfort in the fact that anger, even extreme anger at that, is quite a common emotion. 

Hate the way they stare
I hate it when I’m driving and men look at me as if they have spotted an alien. There have been times when men have peered inside my car when they have stopped besides me at traffic junctions. Some have even gone as far as leering and winking. This just goes to show the misogyny mindset that is so prevalent in our society. And it gets worse when I have to parallel park my car somewhere or I simply have to back into a narrow space. It’s amazing how quickly a small crowd appears out of nowhere and also how many of the men who have gathered make it their mission to tell you how to do it. I have seen many men have a lot of trouble while parking in small spaces. Why is it funny when a girl can’t? It just infuriates me. I sometimes find myself wondering if many of these men who seem to think of my driving skills as comedy circus have a drivers’ license themselves. However, I’ve come to realize that some things won’t change and that a women driving is going to be a strange sight for many for years to come and I can’t, or rather shouldn’t, be bothered about it anymore. 
A girl who drives a Gypsy van 

I want to tell people who stink that they stink 
The one thing that really drives me insane and manages to spoil the rest of my day is meeting someone who smells bad. What is it? You don’t bathe daily? You don’t change your innerwear or socks? Or is it just a bad case of body odor that’s hereditary? I just don’t understand how someone can walk out of the house smelling bad when there are perfumes, deodorant, and body mists so readily available. I once met a guy who was really good looking and smart while attending a business meeting with a prospective client but up close he stank. And that really put me off. I never responded to his texts. I sometimes find myself wondering what would have happened if he had taken better care of his hygiene. Also, what’s with not being able to tell people who stink that they stink? Aren’t we doing them a favor by making them aware of a very important issue? Apparently not, it’s actually considered rude. And that’s one of the main reasons why people who stink continue to stink. 
The one with a strong sense of smell

How is my marriage your concern? 
It’s been three years since I graduated. That’s three years of constant nagging by my relatives. Now that I’m done with my studies, I should get married. It’s only logical, or so they seem to think. I, on the other hand, am perfectly okay with my single status. I’m not averse to marriage but I want to be able to do it on my own terms and not because people think I’m the ‘right age’ to get married. I also particularly hate it when people tell me that it will soon be too late, that all the ‘good guys’ will be taken. Whatever does that mean? I recently went to a relative’s house, and the discussion for 80% of the time was related to all things marriage. I seriously think it was preplanned because they knew I would be there. And I think my mother had a big role to play in it. Every once in a while, someone would seriously lecture me on how I shouldn’t trouble my parents by staying unmarried anymore. I wanted to ask them if being married wasn’t troublesome, if they were happy with their husbands who always put themselves before their wives, and for whom their wives were simply housekeepers. Yes, that’s how angry I was. 
30 and (still) single 

Manners maketh man
There’s something about good manners and decorum that’s just so appealing. It’s sad that people don’t really seem to get that. I was recently at a wedding party and these raucous men, who were all very well dressed by the way, would take their time with the appetizers that were served and not even say thanks to the server. Some went a step further and would call out to them with a whistle or a snapping of fingers. These kinds of behavior often make me angry. I mean, what is the problem with being nice? Why do some people feel like the world owns them and that they can behave any way they want? I don’t want to generalize but it’s because of men like these that Nepalis are thought to be uncouth and treated with disdain whenever we travel abroad. 
Just a girl who doesn’t like (loud) people

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