Dear Sadichha,

Earlier, I finished my SEE exam. It hasn’t even been a month and the “relatives” are already getting on my nerves. They are asking me to study CA because they feel “there’s a future”. My relatives are the weirdest people on earth. It upsets me that my mom and dad also tend to support their decisions. I really want to be a lawyer, but unfortunately, my parents and relatives are stuck to the CA- decision. This is so depressing.

Every time your relatives ask you to study “CA”, ask if their children are studying that too. Or if they studied that too, and say “Until you or your children have studied CA, you can’t really say how good of a future CA has.” Also, sit down with your parents and share your dreams of becoming a lawyer and why do you want to pursue that path. Our parents always want what’s best for us and at times don’t realize that their children have become mature enough to take their own decisions. Don’t be frustrated, and don’t lose your temper. I think having a heart to heart conversation with your parents should give them an insight to how mature and grown-up you have become and see you as a young adult that can take his/her own decision. In our society, our relatives and parents always feel like they have a say in our lives, and yes sometimes, they do but when I comes to decisions that will have a huge impact on one’s life I think that we should listen to other people’s opinions but in the end, make the decision from our heart.

Dear Sadichha,

I am in a thrash metal band. We do Slayer, Pantera and Metallica’s songs. I really love jamming with the guys. From the college band over the years to today’s gigging life, they have been a family to me. I don’t always feel like doing covers, as my aspiration is to have the originals. However, they don’t want to do that. They want to stick to doing covers. Now, I want to leave the band, but all of us members have been together during thick and thin. I don’t know what to do.

I hope the feeling of being like family is mutual amongst the band members and it is not just you. If the feelings are mutual then I feel like they should not have a problem with the originals that you want to create. However, still, sit down with them and listen to the reasons they are not comfortable and don’t want to do originals, maybe they think that it will not be as good or maybe fear people criticizing them. Not everybody is ready to keep themselves out there. If any of the reasons I mentioned is one of the reasons for them to not aspire to do originals then I feel like you can definitely convince them to try to make your own mark with your originals. Don’t quit the band, you do seem very passionate about being in the band, and I feel like passion is very important in one’s life. I am sure, you can try and convince your band members, tell them that it is a leap of faith that all of you as a band has to take together.

Dear Sadichha,

I am 22 and I want to participate in Miss Nepal. My parents never agree with my participation, whatsoever. Participating in the pageant has always been on my list. Despite criticisms, I really think programs like Miss Nepal empowers women. I really don’t know how to pursue them. Please suggest me.

You are 22. You are independent enough to take your own decisions. There have been plenty of Miss Nepal winners and participants who have come to Miss Nepal despite their parents not being for it and still leaving their mark on the national stage. However, as a participant and a former winner, I would tell you that it would be a lot easier if you have your parents as your support system during the journey of Miss Nepal. It will be a roller coaster ride of emotional ups and downs and during those moments, someone to talk to, someone to share things with would be a great help. Try and convince your parents, Miss Nepal is a great opportunity to learn a lot of things that would help you a lot in life, and the things you learn in Miss Nepal, you will be able to use it in your everyday life too. I wish you all the best in bringing your parents on board for your dream of participating in Miss Nepal and even if you don’t succeed in doing that, I hope you don’t let go of that dream and still participate.

Dear Sadichha,

I lost one of my close ones three months ago. Times have passed, but getting over him is the hardest thing I have been doing. People are worried about me. But I don’t even feel a thing. I want to forget him and I have tried a lot. But the memories always create an obstacle. And there is no one to talk to or share how I have been feeling. Can you tell me what to do?

You need to talk to somebody.  You need to share how you feel and let it out. The loss of a loved one is heartbreaking, devastating and the first step you need to take is towards acceptance. You need to accept the fact that they are no more. However, they can always live in your memories and it is not always a bad thing. Please do find someone close that you can share this to, and talk to. I have lost loved ones myself. Like almost everyone else. But life moves on, time passes by and doesn’t stop for anyone. Take a break to reset if you need to. Go through the stages of grief and loss and then come back stronger. We will always miss the people who meant a lot to us, but we also need to remember that our lives matter too. And our loved ones who are with us now would like to see us be happy again and live our lives to the fullest. That is just how it works.