February 7, 2020 10:09 AM NPT
Photo Courtesy: RSS
Oli ba tells us that his government is working hard to create a civilized society and he wants all of us to be responsible citizens and not wild savages who rant on social media against corruption and misuse of power by our thulo mancheys. But the question is who really are the savages, us, the people who seem to find it difficult to even buy onions and garlic or those buffoons in power who spend billions of our taxpayers’ money on their own near and dear ones?
The only thing common between our ruling netas and Trump dai from the United States is their hatred towards the media. Our patrakars have been working day and night writing stories about corruption, from fake VAT bill wallahs to chors selling government land everywhere, but these stories seem to have no effect on our netas and civil servants. We all know that our civil servants don’t approve major deals anywhere without getting their chiya kharcha and some of it goes to our netas and their chamchas as well.
The ‘Airbus’ chiya kharcha is not a big deal for our politicians and civil servants. We all know that all companies, be it foreign or domestic cannot get such deals without paying ghoos to our thulo mancheys. Our media wallahs have been writing about the ‘Yeti’ scandal but our government continues to defend such deals and instead blames us for trying to poke our nose in their businesses.
Our thulo mancheys lack even an ounce of conscience and they think that it is their right to loot us all. As usual, it’s our civil servants and IGP sahebs who go to jail for corruption while our netas get away with everything. We all know that the ‘Sudan’ Kanda could not have taken place without the approval of then Home Minister, the PM and his daughter but only our IGP sahebs get to play cards inside Dillibazar whereas Sujata auntie and Krishna dai are happy eating doodh chiya at home.
We read stories about Min Bahadur Gurung buying government land. We read stories about his supermarket evading taxes in crores. But if we really do follow the money then we won’t be surprised to know that most of the evaded tax money ends up in the hands of our netas. No wonder our byaparis are not worried even when the media publishes stories about their shady deals with our netas. They know very well that as long as their friends are in power, they can’t be prosecuted.
Let us get back to the ‘civilized’ society. Our netas are foul-mouthed, crude and corrupt savages. We, the people, are honest, hardworking and patient fools. Oli ba wants us to bow to him and his fellow mini maharajas when they speak. Yes, that’s what he told our patrkars at Baluwatar recently. Oli ba and our two former comrade prime ministers Jhallu baba and MaKuNe uncle even managed to do a photo-op with sarangis and flute as if they know how to play our traditional musical instruments. Oli ba wants to be our Pied Piper and we, his rats so that we will follow him to his own version of the promised land. With triple taxes, inflation, corruption, pollution and total disregard to the rule of law, our netas and civil servants are milking the system while we have to empty our wallets and even take loans from loan sharks to feed our families.
It’s time for Oli ba to take a rest and leave the kurchi for our emperor. Yes, let our great comrade, the new Shree Tin move into Baluwatar and do his dance routine for a while. I think our netas need to know that their lack of vision is taking this country down the drain.
Our emperor also needs to know that his ‘ten year’ natak has only helped himself, his near and dear ones while the ‘real’ rebel soldiers who fought against the state are driving our microbuses, digging ditches in the Middle East and have received no help from the ‘mother’ party. The funds meant for the former combatants were misused by our emperor and his cronies but, of course, the CIAA only goes after the small fishes while the big sharks continue to loot us over and over again.
So, dear netas, don’t teach us anything about freedom, democracy, good governance and well, don’t preach what you buffoons don’t even practice. Freedom means our netas are free to loot us all. For the people, freedom means keeping our mouth shut and not criticizing the government. Democracy is all about allowing our political parties to fight elections by using illegal money from contractors, con artists, and foreign hands. For us, it means exercising our right to vote by electing the same bunch of thieves over and over again. Good governance is about transferring and promoting civil servants for boras of cash and for us, it means, handing out chiya kharcha to our hakim sahebs to get our work done at government offices.
I think it’s time we write to the people at Oxford English Dictionary to change the definitions of many words that seem to completely contradict what our netas and civil servants have been doing all these days. When they take about peace and stability, our netas instead divide this country into pieces and each want a piece of the pie when it comes to our state funds.
Yes, we have a stable government filled with comrades from two communist parties who tell us they are one but still continue to show us their natak by using the ‘quota’ system. I think it’s time for the media to up their game and show our netas the reason it’s called the Fourth Estate. It’s time our patrakars go together and show their strength to change the way this country is governed by our pickpockets.
Our netas need to realize that our media has not crossed the limit but it is the other way around. Our netas have crossed all limits possible when it comes to destroying this beautiful land. They cannot change overnight because if they do, then they will be out of power, cash and all the freebies that comes with being a thulo manchey. Our forefathers built beautiful temples, squares and what not. They were civilized folks. Today, we are ignorant fools being ruled by crooked criminals. So, let us call it a ‘crooked society’ instead.
Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You can contact him at email@example.com.