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Published On: September 19, 2018 11:32 AM NPT By: Republica

Nothing comes easy

Nothing comes easy

Dear Sadichha,
I am in a relationship with a guy. He is a Christian whereas I am a Hindu. We are into each other and my parents don’t have a problem with that but his parents deny accepting me due to our religion differences. He says he tried to convince them but that does not seem to work. Due to all this, he wants to break up with me but I don’t want to lose him. Should I let him go or fight for my love? What should I do?
Love is between two people, you cannot fight alone. He has to be with you and fight together with you, for the two of you to win this. Love doesn’t come easy; it is a lot of hard work. If he says he has tried convincing his parents and that didn’t work and wants to break up with you because of it, he doesn’t deserve you. There’s a quote, “We accept the love we think we deserve” and I think you deserve someone willing to fight these societal norms.  This will not be the only challenge you face in life, there will be many more obstacles. If he gives up so easily, imagine what he would do in other situations. Love should be between two people; issues like age, caste, religion shouldn’t be the reason to give up on love. I know that for you giving up on love is not easy, but if the person you love is ready to break up, I don’t see the point for you to fight this battle alone. When the time is right, you will find someone who will be ready to fight for you and for your love. Stay strong and make the decision that feels right in your heart. 
 

Dear Sadichha, 
I am a 24-year-old guy currently living in New Delhi. I completed my graduation here and am currently doing my internship. I am hoping to get a good job after my internship. However, I also feel like coming home to my family in Nepal as they have been expecting me to settle in Nepal. My girlfriend also wants us to get married soon. I am so confused on what to do. I will still try having them convinced but is there any other way that I can have it all sorted?

Nobody can plan your life for you. You will have to do that for yourself. Life is all about having a goal and working towards it. What is your priority? Is it your career, family or your love? I know there are many youths who want to come back and do something productive in Nepal if you are one of those, have you thought about what you would like to do once you’re here? If you are confident that you will get a job here then I think you should come back to Nepal because that will bring you closer to your family and your girlfriend. However, if you do get the job that you are looking for after your internship, you can work in Delhi for some time too. Your girlfriend wants to get married but are you ready? You are just doing an internship now; wouldn’t you want a stable job and income source before you get married? I suggest you discuss these things with your girlfriend and your family as well. 
 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 28-year-old girl. I belong to a Muslim family but I am dating a Hindu guy who is three years younger than me. Both of us are progressing in our career and now we want to take this relationship to the next level by getting married. However, our parents are against it. We both tried talking to our parents but it didn’t work out. Can you please help me get our parents convinced of the marriage?

In Nepal, when it comes to marriage it’s not just two people but two families coming together. This is why sometimes there are complications. When it’s an inter-caste marriage, the things parents are most worried about is that they (mostly the girl) will not understand each other’s culture and thus will not be able to adapt in the family. However, I also feel it’s because the parents themselves know very little about the other culture and have made assumptions which are not always positive. So, I suggest you bring the families together. Have them meet each other and talk to each other. Maybe after they understand that they are not that different after all and once they see how happy the two of you are together, I hope they will change their mind. It will not be easy so don’t give up so easily, especially because the two of you want it. 

Dear Sadichha, 
I am a 19-year-old-guy. I currently completed my high school. I am passionate about film making and joined couple of trainings here. I had a great experience studying, but I dream big and want to apply for the US for film studies. I checked out the universities but there are very costly. I have been applying for a scholarship, but the colleges that I have chosen don’t have scholarship programs. Many colleges have accepted my application but the one that I want to attend has not provided me any seat in their university. This has really made me upset recently. How should I not let myself get badly affected by such things?

First of all, have you been accepted into the university that you want to go to? If yes, then you’ve completed the first step now it’s about money. If the university you have chosen doesn’t give scholarships at all then you cannot expect it from the university. However, have you tried looking for sponsors here in Nepal?  You can research into it and see what you can get. Have you talked to your parents about this? I am sure they would like to support you. Not everybody who goes to a university abroad gets a scholarship. They work and pay for their university fees themselves. You can do that too. So, start with the fees of the university and see if it is possible for you. If not, have a plan B, and choose another university. Don’t let a single event discourage you from pursuing your dream.

 

Send your questions to gennext@myrepublica.com or mycity@myrepublica.com with the subject line “Gennext-Heart to Heart with Sadichha” or post it on our facebook page at facebook.com/gennextnepal.


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