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Published On: May 9, 2018 09:52 AM NPT By: Republica

Make it happen now

Make it happen now

Dear Malvika,
I am now 28-year-old. As a young girl, I was good at studies. However, because of my financial conditions, I decided to work along with getting higher education. My job didn’t pay me much but I was happy. It helped me fulfill my daily needs at college and I didn’t have to ask for money. As time passed, my father became unwell and eventually he died. After his death my responsibility increased and I kept my studies on a second priority. I couldn’t complete my graduation in the expected year. Now, looking back, I feel why I didn’t focus on my studies and got distracted. I have always been a responsible daughter according to my parents but at times I feel, was I responsible for what happened to me? I couldn’t make my parents proud; I couldn’t achieve what I dreamed for. Because I didn’t complete my studies, I had to let go of the opportunities which were right there in front of me and this feeling is killing me inside. I try to act strong, walk with a smile with a head held high but inside, my mind is full of chaos. But still I am trying because I won’t give up. How can I overcome this?

No worries love, life throws you situations which sometimes go out of context of what you might have wanted. And in that you will have to mold yourself and live the life accordingly. That is called adulthood. And we don’t have choices. However we can make it better. Sometimes we can also make sure that we make our dreams come true if not at the present moment but sometime in the future too.  And don’t blame yourself that. You were thrown into a situation over which you had no control. And given the state of mind you were not able to proceed with the dream you had, and that is fine. So here is the thing. I was brought up by a single mom when my father passed away. The interesting thing is she finished her bachelor’s level in her late 40’s. And she did her master’s in her mid 60’s. Taking that inspiration from my mother I believe that once you think of it, it is always better late than never. So you are just 28. You have a whole life ahead of you. You can always go back to private studies and give exams. That is not impossible. And it’s not a big deal too. Since you are still keen on finishing your studies why not make it happen now. 
Dear Malvika,
I am a 22-year-old girl studying in India. I have been living in a hostel for the past two years now. The hostel environment here is not healthy as students are highly affected by college ragging. My friends and I are ragged on a daily basis and it is getting annoying day by day. I have complained about these activities being carried out in the college premises but nothing seems to work against the practice. I have lately been feeling annoyed and have thought of quitting my studies and return to Nepal. I am in the second year of my studies. Would it be a good idea to quit my study for such an environment?

I am awfully disappointed that an education institution allows such behavior to go rogue. This can affect the mental well being of students. And here we are talking about mental health and advocating. It seems more outrageous that the administration does not do anything about it. So what you can do is fight the system. Use social media and video graph these events. Once the college starts getting bad publicity they will automatically make sure that it does not happen. You can also anonymously tip media that such events are happening at your college and once they come and start asking questions then that will also be another ground breaking moment. You can also ask other students to join forces with you and protest in college about this behavior. But only if you think you will be able to handle this situation and what comes with it. If the mental stress is too much for you, then be open about it with your parents and ask for guidance. But don’t leave without a fight or making a difference.

Dear Malvika,
I am a 24-year-old girl. It’s not that I am an introvert, I can make good friends and I am considered as an extrovert who many of the time is surrounded by friends but these days it feels like everything has changed. One of my friends hacked my social media account and tried to use it against me. I don’t believe someone close to me could do such thing to me. I am losing my hope and finding it hard to trust friends. How would you suggest me to handle such situation?

Forgive but don’t forget. Because if you keep it in your heart and constantly think about it you will never be able to move on. You haven’t mentioned here what measure you took to ensure that the friend was punished. Or did you even confront the person about this situation. Because if you kept quiet that means you are weak and weak people will always be manipulated or misused. Trust is a heavy word and you should not trust anyone blindly. I can understand at your age trusting comes easy and you want to be on good terms with everyone and share everything. But that’s not how it works in real life. And you have already been in one situation. So don’t stop being the person that you are. Just take it easy when it comes to trusting people. Don’t be blind about it. But don’t be insecure all the time too. 

Dear Malvika,
I am a 20-year-old boy. Apart from my academics I am highly interested in contemporary dance style and I also want to join dance classes. However, my parents are always insecure about how I am being negligent towards my studies and not taking my life seriously.  My parents have strictly warned me to give my full time and attention to my studies but I also want to follow my interest. What shall I do?

Do focus on your studies. That is very important. Dancing might be a passion but education is also important. You can always juggle these two and be good at both. Since you are very young, I would suggest that is what you do. And make your parents proud. I feel like in a country like Nepal you need to keep two choices in hand professionally. So that if one doesn’t work out you can always rely on the other one. That would be the smartest thing to do. So don’t neglect your studies also and keep dancing too. 

make, it, happen,

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