Sleepless nights filled with pain and suffering that my heart goes through in your remembrance have become regular now. My heart itches for the warmth, you once gave it. I never thought that one day I would have to take the help of a pen to spill out the sufferings of my heart.

Lost in loneliness, engulfed with darkness, clouds fading the shining stars, my heart is filled with despair. It cries aloud but no one sympathizes with it. Your sweet memories that once were medicine for me are now gradually poisoning me. The time that I spent with you which I treasured have become a burden to me now. No matter how hard I try, it doesn’t let me move on. I have become helpless. I need a shoulder on which I can cry. I need someone on whom I can rely. I need someone to catch my hand and say “it’s alright now”. I need someone to hug me and whisper, “don’t worry, you can count on me”

Thinking about you has now driven me crazy. I can see people talking but I can’t hear them. I can touch things but I can’t feel them. It is as if the world is arguing my existence. It is as if my happiness has been sucked out. It is as if the sun has set on my side and will never rise again.

I have forgotten myself. I have forgotten my existence. I wish that I could hope that you would help me know myself again.