Photo Courtesy: positivepsychology

Dear Sadichha,

I am 23 years old lady. I’m little heavier on weight. It has created a burden in my life. Being mocked at is one of the things but I don’t care about it anymore. The thing that saddens me is people judging me, because of the weight. I have no friends. Sometimes, I just feel alone. I applied for jobs but still, they haven’t called me. Please tell me what I should do.

People are judgmental and appearance is still one of the first factors that people consider to judge a person. Don’t be discouraged when it comes to applying for jobs. No one gets a call back from the very first job they apply to. Hence, keep sending those resumes and going for those interviews. Having said that, I will also ask you to be more active. It is absolutely no problem if you are healthy but with the added weight, often there is illness that is attached. So, join a gym if possible, or do yoga if that is your thing. Stay active, eat healthy. All of this is going to help you once you start working. As, the physical activity and fitness will also give you the added mental strength you will require for work.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a 19-year-old guy living here in Indonesia for 4 years now. Let me tell you, this place sucks. I miss my friends in Nepal. As I finished my high school here, I asked my parents if I can go to Kathmandu to study Engineering. They are not agreeing. I really want to go. I don’t know how I should convince my parents.

Before convincing your parents on letting you go to Kathmandu, you need to be rational. Is your only reason to go back to Kathmandu is—you miss your friends? If you miss your friends, you can talk to them or video call them. Here’s another situation for you—once you go back to Kathmandu what if you miss your parents, will you leave your studies half way and then come to Indonesia again? The reason you should want to make this sort of decision should be because you are looking for a better opportunity. So, grab your pen and paper and list the pros and cons for you to move to Kathmandu and if you’ve convinced yourself from those points I am sure your parents will be too. Good luck!

Dear Sadichha,

I met my husband on Facebook. We are happy now as we welcomed our boy 5 years ago. However, ever since we had our child, things with my husband aren’t same. We are always quarreling. I do miss him and I don’t want any bad influence on my kid. Please help me.

I don’t think you can just pin point one particular reason for the quarrel or disagreements. Have a conversation. Talk and discuss about things while remaining calm. It is okay to sometimes disagree and be on different pages but always remember that you and your husband are a team and not against one another. If you have someone to look after your baby, I suggest you take a short trip together and try to amend the difficulties you are facing. Spending some time together will help you reflect on each other and your relationship. In your daily life as well, don’t overthink any situation, like how you are wondering why has your husband changed now. Overthinking any situation will just make it worse, instead go for facts, ask him how his day was, is he going through anything that you can help with. I am sure these words itself will also give him relief.

Dear Sadichha,

Hello, I am 16 years old guy from Kathmandu. My parents sent me to the hostel almost 5 years ago. I kind of miss them and want to leave this place. I have asked my parents so many times to come home but they never agree. I don’t learn here anything and I hate all these people. I don’t know what to do.

I know it’s very difficult to be away from your loved ones. I also think that you’re being very negative right now because you do miss them and want to be with them. I believe you do learn to be independent while you’re away from home. There must be a reason for your parents to send you to hostel, maybe they want you to be more social or be more independent, or maybe there are other reasons. If you are really not learning anything or if you don’t like it there so much, talk to your parents and see how you can change that. Maybe from being in the hostel completely, you could just be a day boarder and come back home to your own bed. Also, don’t have a negative attitude regarding any situation that you’re in. If you already have a negative attitude you’ll never be able to learn or grow in that environment, Hence, I suggest you keep a positive, learning mindset.