Resha Makaju

The author is a student of BSc nursing at Institute of Medicine, Tribhuvan University

Published On: May 2, 2018 01:03 PM NPT By: Resha Makaju

I still get Jealous

I still get  Jealous

Over the couple of years of our relationship, we had experienced every emotion: fear, attachment, love, respect, care, valuing, everything except jealousy. Obviously, because she wouldn’t eye on anyone besides me and I wouldn’t dare either, in front of her (but c’mon love doesn’t mean you cannot be infatuated by anyone else). 

So, yes I had never been jealous of her until today when I saw her with a guy in a mall. Jessica had left early this morning as she’d planned to shop with her friend. And I was meeting an old friend of mine at this place called ‘The Peter Moon Mall’.  

As I was looking for my friend, I felt I just saw Jessi. I did a double check and yes indeed it was her. Out of hundreds of shopping destinations in the ally, she chose the same place as I did. I was proud at how being together had brought us to having similar taste.   

I was about to wave at her when I suddenly noticed that she was holding arms with what appeared as a guy-like figure. I couldn’t see his face since they were kind of facing back at me. He was wearing an orange hoodie and black pants. I vividly remember Jessi mentioning countless times in our conversations how badly she liked color ‘orange’. I assumed what an ordinary boyfriend assumes: Jessi is low-key dating this guy who appeared in her favorite color today to impress her. 

I was puzzled. I didn’t know whether to feel angry or pathetic. My pain and rage was increasing every passing second. They were holding arms and posing for a selfie. I was losing my mind. 

I felt like hitting this guy, whoever he was, right in the face. But then I suddenly remembered how in the movies and stories the other guy who is with your girl ends up being her brother. YES!!!! Brother. Ohhh… he might be Jessi’s brother. 

I cursed myself for being so hyped unnecessarily and for not trusting my love. I decided to move from there. But ahhh…. My heart ached again. Jessi was now about giving him a peck. What kind of sister will do that to her grown-up brother in public? I was led to believe he was no more her brother. I realized I should leave before I would explode there.

The sun was down. Birds were flying back to their sweet home. The gentle breeze was blowing. The park was peaceful in the evening. But, my mind wasn’t.  I felt angry at one second and broken at the other. As it was getting darker, I decided to return home. I checked my phone. 14 missed calls. 

“At least she’s worried,” I gasped; only to find out that was not her number at all.  Oh! I was totally lost, I’d forgotten to meet my friend amidst all of this. Bullshit!!  The bus ride back to home was exhausting as always. 

Jessi opened the door.  
“Darling, how was your day?”  I did’t know how to react to this girl. I gazed into her eyes long enough to reflect I was serious over something.   “Pratit, u okay?” she broke the silence.   Every time something terrible happens, confronting the situation has always worked for me. So I spoke.

“Jessi, I had a bad day. But I saw you were enjoying quite a lot.” “So you were in the same….” 

I interrupted. “You were having a great time with that orange hooded brat!! Right?” I could hold it no more. 

“What? What on earth are you talking about?”  “Jessi!” my voice was raised. “I was right there. You both were holding arms and even about to kiss” 

She was completely puzzled at my attack. Then she seemed to be involved in some deep thoughts and memory. And after a long pause in our conversation, she burst out into an insane laugh. 

“Awww… my lovely lovely Pratit! It is sooo satisfying to see you jealous.” 

My Jessica!! What was she doing? This was the least expected time for her to laugh. Then she flipped her phone and showed me the picture she had earlier clicked in the mall. I stared at it; I grew red and ‘redder’ of shame. How come I couldn’t have noticed this? I was laughing and crying the same time at my own stupidity.  

My Jessi was posing with a pout with an orange hooded MANNEQUIN. A MANNEQUIN! So basically, I had been jealous of that lifeless mannequin the whole time. 

“What the heck! Jessi, why would you do that to me?” I said; my voice lower than she can hear.  “I loved that outfit so much. I thought I’d click some pics to show you.”   “You nearly killed me!” 

She wrapped her arms around my neck. I held her by her waist as tightly as I could. And, of course I couldn’t resist the temptation to kiss her. “Well, Pratiiiit,” she said playfully, “Now I think I prefer that orange hooded guy.”  “What a girl I love! Heartless enough to say that.”  “What a guy I love! Stupid enough to believe.” 

get, jealous,

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